Meliorism

09 | the snitch

Was this the question that was bugging him?

I thought back to the conversations I shared with Dumbledore. He never revealed information directly because he always had a personal agenda. Now he and the Order were dead, with the secrets buried with them.

"No, but he did emphasize that it was extremely important that I stayed hidden. He wanted me to wait until The Order came back to retrieve me." I fixated on my cup of tea, feeling the weight of the solemn air. "I guess they never expected the war to turn out like this."

I understood the anger that drove many Slytherins to the dark side, having experienced much of that anger myself. But after witnessing Bellatrix sending my father through the veil, I held no respect to those who willingly chose The Dark Lord. 

If I ever come face to face with Bellatrix in the future, I would gut her with her own dagger.

It was different for Draco, who was raised in an environment that only taught one side of the story. He never knew any different from the life that was forced upon him. The recent change of events must have caused conflict against decades of his upbringing.

I watched as stress created lines on his pale skin. 

Before, he constantly stressed over exams and assignments to satisfy his father's high expectations. Yet, this was the first time that I have seen him so worried. He definitely knew something that I didn't.

"You can trust me," I announced firmly. "You gotta loop me in before your brain shuts down from overthinking."

I watched as he shook his head, combing his fingers through his untidy hair.

I wondered if the war within his own head took casualties too. If it did, his youthfulness would be the first to go. The seriousness of his face was not to be reckoned with.

"For Salazar's sake," he cursed. He must have realized that I had no one else to tell his secrets to, even if I wanted to spill. "That crazy bastard knew a lot of things, Alex. What if he needed you to come back after all this time?"

Needed me to come back?

"But he told me to wait for The Order to bring me out of hiding. If he knew the future, why the hell would he tell me that?" I wasn't sure what Draco was implying. "Dumbledore was a lot of things, but definitely not some sort of seer"

"Maybe he did know." Blaise's voice was hard and unexpecting, causing me to jump in surprise. I turned my head around, catching him leaning against the doorframe. "He could have known a lot of things and chose not to tell anyone."

I tried to wrap my head around their suggestion. It felt like a stretch. 

Why would Dumbledore allow The Order to fail? What could I possibly bring to the table against an army of death eaters? 

"How would I even play a part in all of this?" I snapped. "Potter or his sidekicks would've been a better help. I'm a Slytherin, for Merlin's sake! You know how much he hates us."

As people who pride themselves in logic and realism, compared to Gryffindor idealism, it was weird to hear the two plan conspiracies. This must be how the dream team planned their adventures back then. Throwing ridiculous ideas around and risking the lives of people around them.

I couldn't help but think that these two have gotten delusional over the years.

Bellatrix's insanity wasn't inheritable. Was it?

"What if it has something to do with your father?" Blaise's face scrunched up slightly in thought. "Like a secret he told you, or a Black family heirloom?"

"A secret..." Draco trailed off, "Or a weapon."

"You think they gave me a weapon without my knowing?"

"Or, maybe you're the weapon." His grey eyes snapped up to mine in sudden intensity.

I barked out a dry laugh, finding this conversation ridiculous and downright pointless.

"I- I'm serious. There had to be a reason why The Dark Lord kept searching for you after the battle at Hogwarts. You aren't officially part of The Order, or even friends with Potter."

I studied him closely, feeling suspicion kick in. I was unsure why he was so adamant about getting new information. If I had barely survived an attack by my fellow death eater colleagues, I'd avoid the topics of the war indefinitely. 

It's unlikely that any new information could affect the war, with everyone missing or dead on the opposing side.

"Well there's nothing we can do now," I said. "We'll never know what Dumbledore wanted from me."

"Don't lie." Draco held a glare of frustration and anger. "You're hiding something from us."

"I'm not," I scoffed, offended that he'd even suggest it.

I trusted Blaise and Draco wholeheartedly since we spent a lot of time together growing up together. Although, I was beginning to doubt the intentions of the latter, with the way he was acting. People change.

Proving my thoughts, Draco's hand slammed down on the table. Both Blaise and I remained silent as he pushed his chair backwards. In a blink of an eye, he had left the kitchen, slamming the door behind him.

"Well, that went well."

I met Blaise's eyes tentatively and made a sound of agreement.

Something told me that there were pieces of information that Draco was hiding from both of us. I needed to figure out what it was.

It was silent once again.

Sleep refused to consume me, even after Blaise returned to his room hours ago. All that was left was the slight buzz of the snitch's metal wings, and the ringing in my ears.

I dug my head into the black satin pillows, willing my growing headache to dissipate. Instead, the blur of gold and insistent buzzing made my head pound more than ever.

With a glare, I snatched the snitch from the air frustratedly.

Staring at it made me feel even worse. All it reminded me of was my father, and the life I used to live. Specifically, the snitch was a reminder of all that was lost. 

I pressed it to my cracked lips, feeling hot tears well up in my eyes.

I miss you. I think, in an act of desperation. So much.

Somewhere out there, my father's snitch would burn for a split second. Then, my message would slowly appear in the gold, inscribed with the thoughts I'd like to share. But they would never reach the person that it's meant for. Not anymore.

I never got a chance to tell him that I loved him. I'd forgive him now, for not being there for me when I needed him. It's too late for any of that now.

Deep in my thoughts, I barely registered the sudden heat radiating against my shaking fingers.

One word gradually began to appear on the metal surface:

sirius?

I originally wrote that the snitch was a gift from Remus, but I went back and changed the gifter to Sirius. It fits the plot better. 

To clarify, she sent a message through her snitch for her dad but unexpectedly received a response back. The person on the other end thought her message was sent by Sirius. Sorry if you were confused!

Damn, I wrote this chapter in a day.

Published: 07/03/2021