Indian Wedding Tales

G I R I S H : part III

I stared up at the endless sky and wondered how tiny and frivolous my worries seemed compared to the universe. Yet, when I looked down at the life around me, the void in my life and the helplessness of my wife, those same worries seemed so hefty that they weighed me down.

On the other side of the terrace, a few teenagers laughed amongst themselves and for a moment I tried to imagine myself as one of them.

They were probably talking about the fast paced college life, the complete lack of control over things and attention from some young woman.

Hahahah, I thought.

The chase of a young love. It thrills the heart and brings joy even at the slight display of affection. The constant need to be around them overrides everything and the boost of courage to go to any length for your partner surges through your chest, making you feel alive.

I and Radhika were so lucky to have found love in arranged marriage. Although my shoes weren't shining all well and my nails had dirt, she agreed to marry me.

Later she revealed to me that she had agreed to marry me because I looked like Dilip Kumar.

So, thanks to Dilip Kumar that I had a partner right now.

My parents left the world early leaving for me and Radhika to meander through life all by ourselves. We were dependent so much on each other that she never stayed at her parent's house for long.

The first five years of marriage were pure bliss but then when no 'good news' was received by our relatives, their taunts started getting louder; And more than their verbal communication, their pitying looks would leave us feeling shameful and angered.

I would save up money every three months and we would make visits to the fertility clinic. We tried a lot to conceive naturally but nothing worked. The silence of the house has started to haunt us after a point in life and we needed to remind ourselves that we were still here.

Drowned in thoughts of misfortune and self-pity, I didn't realize when the sky began lightening and shades of orange washed over it. Damn, I stayed up all night?!

Grumbling and cussing to myself, I walked back to my home, shirt out of the pant and my legs losing footing every ten seconds. When I rang the doorbell, within moments the the door flew open.

Radhika stood inside with swollen eyes and disheveled hair. As I swayed a bit, I grabbed the frame of the door and walked past her.

"Where were you?" She demanded. Her voice was loud and heavy with phlegm.

I tried to ignore her questions and headed straight for the kitchen. I had now realized how very dehydrated my body was. My stomach was empty and a headache was brewing because of the lack of sleep.

"You were gone all night!" She exclaimed following me into the kitchen. Her face looked placid and weak as she tried to make me to stop and look at her.

"I don't think it matters to you I guess," I mumbled. "As long as you have a baby, you don't need anyone else, right?"

I knew I was being stupid. So stupid. But there's only so much filtering your brain can do when it's high on pent up emotions and negativity.

Radhika flinched.

I chugged down an entire glass of water and felt the cool water calm my insides. I breathed deeply as I stood still as I waited to gain control of my body. It was then that I heard sniffing; the one where you pull back the snot so as to not begin crying.

I turned around noticing that my wife had wet cheeks and eyes that were swollen because of constant crying and her nose was red at the edge.

For a moment I just looked at her as she cried while wiping her tears and then crying some more.

"I'm sorry," she said in between bouts of crying." I'm sorry, I'm so sorry"

"I'll never demand things like this, I promise. I'm sorry," Her entire body was shaking with the intensity of her wails and yet my hands were too numb to do anything.

"You've never gone for this long before! I... I thought I lost you"

My breath hitched at her confession. All the restless I felt when she was gone for three months returned with a vengeance. And it looked like the same feeling was clutching Radhika at her very core.

"I know we can't expand our family, but please," she said looking at with tear brimmed eyes, "please don't break this family"

She gestured to the space in between us and my throat burned at that. Taking a lungful of air, I dared myself to speck again.

"You do know that if I could, I would give you everything you desire for," I said, "But how do I control things beyond my working?"

I took a step forward.

"I wish, Radhika, I so wish I could earn that much money and fulfill all our dreams but I can't I'm trying, you very well know I'm trying" Numerous times had I tried changing jobs to get better money and always tried to save by cutting out all unnecessary expenses.

"What else can I do? You tell me and I'll do it," I said lifting her face so she look how I meant every word of what I said.

She closed her eyes shaking her head furiously.

"Don't leave me like this. Just promise me that you won't walk out," She said.

"I've always been here with you," I reminded and pulled her closer so I could wrap my arms around her. She was shaking but she allowed me to hold her as we both wept in each other's arm that cold morning.

"And what about the future?"

"You have me for the future and beyond, Radhika" I mumbled into her hair. I felt her relax before she pulled away smiling slightly. She would've rolled her eyes at the cheesy line if the situation wasn't so intense.

"No need to use lines like those actors," she said.

"You know I don't copy, I'm very much original" I said and bent to whisper, "like Dilip Kumar"

She let out a tiny laugh at that. Wiping her runny nose she walked back to the kitchen island.

"Say whatever you want, I'm not cooking you anything."

"I would have been asleep right now with a belly full of noodles," I mumbled under my breath hoping she didn't hear it.

"There's bread, butter and jam if you want to eat" She said pulling out the glass bottle full of jam.

I shrugged, "It's better than khichdi, I'll take it"

The watery smile Radhika managed to flash me was a reminder. This journey, however hard, was worth it if we found our way back to each other after every minor hurdle. This life was worth it.

***

I think this has been by far the most intense story I've written. The emotions, conflict and characters were all different and.......well I tried.

Only one more story to go, you guys!!!!

Also, we crossed 6000 reads and 1000 votes. My readers are the best. Literally!