Chapter one
I wonder where everything went wrong. And if the universe has given my mother the gratification of
always being right when it comes to my relationships. " You are too young and you don't know what you
want out of life" my mothers words ringing in the back of my head. I up until a month ago had every
reason to doubt what my mother had said to me, but now I am not so sure. For a Saturday night in New
York my one bedroom one bath walk up apartment is unusually quiet. Like the calm after a storm, or is
it before?
I find my self staring at my wedding ring who knew for better or for worse would be so hard. Mine and
Carter's relationship had always been easy. Well at least in the beginning. We met in band our
freshman year he played the saxophone and I played the trumpet. We didn't talk much that year. Except
for when he stole my I-pod.
I was sitting on the bus waiting for it to take off for Northern Arizona University our jazz band was
competing against other top high school Jazz bands. No one except for my best friend Kyle liked me. I
admit I was a snob, but there I was in cold silence listening to what I thought was good music when out
of the blue my head phones where ripped out of my ears and I-pod out of my hand. I remember turning
around and yelling "give that back!" he just looked up at me and smiled well his smile back then was
more of an awkward grimace. I tried to grab it from him but before I could get my hand on the thing he
pulled it away. He looked me dead in they eyes and said "Elaine, do you think you have good taste in
music?" "well why would I listen to it if it sucked?" I huffed "because you don't have good taste at all.
Come on Never shout never? He's in your top twenty five most played?" I rolled my eyes. When a
person that is musically inclined and in band gets insulted by there music taste its like being stabbed
twice in the heart and being told your mom's a fat whore. "then carter what is good music because you
seem to be such an expect" I tried to sound surly too him but too this day I am almost certain that it
sounded like I was flirting with him. "this is good" he said softly and put his head phones in my ears.
Carter changed so much of my life back then. It started with my music taste. Which he was right was I
was listening too was crap. I will let him win that one. I get up from my place at the table and stroll over
too the bedroom. Other wise known as battle field one. My shoes on his side of the room, because I
threw them at him. His sheet music scattered on my side because he threw the whole book at me. I
know now that he would never want to hurt me I threw six inch heels at him with my softball arm and all
he threw back was paper. His closet door is shut. I can't bare too look at it. It's been only a day and I
haven't slept or eaten since he left. What we where fighting about seems so pointless now. I should
have said yes. We would be looking at apartments in L.A right now on the couch watching a movie. But I
said no. Why didn't I say yes?
He will come home. He left his guitar here. The one thing he loves as much as me. Well right now he
probably loves the guitar more. A month ago he came running into the apartment and tackled me in the
kitchen. "I got it!" he yelled "I have have a record deal!" he shook me he was so happy. SO was I. Here I
would be a Broadway star and him a rock star. We would finally get out of this boring apartment and live
the way we want. Carter was talking a mile a minute when I heard "all we have to do is get out to L.A in
a month." My smile faded. I loved new york there was so much to do and so much too see and it was
where I wanted to be. For forever. I told him no. I basically said no you can't follow your dream your stuck
here with me and there will be other chances. I was the worlds biggest hypocrite we moved to New york
for me. Because I wanted to act and he said okay. I told him no.
I didn't even consider the possibility of us moving out there. He never brought it up again. But I knew
why he was sulking around all month and as each day drove on and on he became more and more
upset. I am a dream wrecker.
And a horrible wife.
