'I think I'm falling for you.' he said looking directly in my eyes.
I wanted to say something, but the words felt stuck in my throat. I looked at him and I could sense the fear in his eyes.
'You're only saying this because you're drunk, come on, let's slee-' I said after a minute of silence.
'I'm not drunk! I'm- I think I am in love, Sorn..'
I took a step back and he came closer to me once more. He looked desperate, like he tried to say this for a long time, but didn't find the courage.
'Damiano I-' I started, but he intrerrupted me.
'Don't say anything.. I understand' he said and smiled softly, starting to go upstairs to the bedrooms.
'No you don't! Listen! I said and tried to go after him, but he was already upstairs. I think I'm falling too..'
He didn't hear it. Say it louder, Sorn! It's your fucking chance, go after him!
I didn't do that. I wish I did.
I took my bag and left his house. I stayed in the driveway, waiting for my uber, and look at the windows, only one of them was lighted. I saw Damiano in his room, walking back and forth with his hands in his hair. I felt so bad for not having the courage to tell him that the feelings were mutual.
The last month we tricked eachother into thinking that we were just friends. We pretended to be, but we both knew we were liars. All the teasing, the play fights, underneath all of these there were feelings very well burried. He dig them up that night.
I got home and Thomas was still sleeping. The only thing I wanted is to write.
01.08.2021
lost in my mind; not the woods
drowning in my thoughts; not the sea
I want to share more of myself, but I am terrified. How can someone love me when I don't love myself?
unconditionally, Sorn
-
I couldn't stand the silence. It was already 5pm and Damiano didn't texted me or reached out for me, so I had to do it myself.
sornnnn: can we please talk?
ykaaar: i'm still hungover and very much embarrassed
sornnnn: i can come over
ykaaar: i dont know if i want you to
I sighed and let my phone fall in my lap. I needed to talk to him, I needed to tell him how I feel. I couldn't keep it to myself, but at the same time I needed him to listen to me.
I got a text and I looked at my phone, hoping it would be Damiano, but it was Meike.
meike: are u still at damiano's?
me: no, i left last night
meike: is everything ok?
me: im not sure. can you come over?
meike: sure baby
She arrived at my apartament in less than 10 minutes and just barged in my room.
'What happened? If that bitch said anything to you, I swear to god I'll kick his as-'
'He told me he's in love with me. Or that he believes he is.' I intrerrupted her.
Her eyes got bigger and her hand flew to her mouth, a thing that she did so often.
'Well, it was kinda obvious.' she said making a poker face.
'How was it obvious?' I asked really confused.
'Don't play dumb. He was really into you and you're into him as well. Not gonna lie, you two would make a perfect match.' she said grinning and I scoffed at her.
'It's not that easy.. there is Wanda-'
'Fuck Wanda. Do you want me to beat that bitch up? Don't be stupid. He likes you and he even confessed to you.. Don't you like find it hot? she laughed. I mean, not a lot of boys confessed their love to me.'
'How did you know Ethan was like- the one?' I asked and her face dramatically changed.
'I didn't. And he's not.'
'Whaaat? You were so excited about him, what happened?'
'I think I like somebody else to be honest' she said scratching her neck.
'Well, did you talk with Ethan about this?'
'Yes. Last night. It was kinda embarrassing since we just had sex, but he was understanding.'
'Ethan is such a gentleman for that. So who's the lucky man?' I giggled.
'It's actually a girl.' she grinned proudly
'Oh wow, did you just came out to me?' I laughed and she did too.
'Sorn, I thought you knew this since I kissed thousands of girls in highschool. It's Vic.' she said.
Oh my god. That makes a lot of sense.
'You didn't expect that, did you?' laughed Meike seeing I wasn't saying anything.
'Actually no, but I am so happy for you. Your personalities are alike now that I think about it.'
'Yeah, she's just so charismatic and pretty and let's not start about how hot she is- Wait, we were talking about you and Damiano. Let's get back to that.' she said smiling.
'I really don't feel like talking about Damiano' I sighed and layed on my back, hugging a pillow.
'Sorn, you have to let it out sooner or later. Do you like him?'
'I do. I think.' I said looking at the ceiling.
'Well, you should be sure because you can't go around fucking with his feelings because you don't know your own.'
'I know that, but- there are things that are stopping me.'
'Like what?'
'Like fear. I'm scared to give my heart on a plate really.'
She layed besides me, looking at the ceiling as well.
'You can't let your fear push away someone who genuinely cares about you. You will miss life.' she said sighting.
I didn't say anything, just nodded in approval. She was right. I had to open my heart and see what was inside it.
'Also, you are not afraid of love itself, you're afraid of not being loved.' she continued.
I didn't realize when tears started running down my face. She hugged me tight while I cried in her arms and we stayed like that until I fell asleep.
bruh i just looovee their friendship so muchhh
tell me what do you think about the storyline?🙈 stay safe besties🤍
