A Story:

Water

Sometimes, I dip so low in the bathtub I begin to imagine the feeling of drowning. The feeling of water slowly filling your lungs as you choke for air, with this weight being lifted from your shoulders. The weight of every stressful, or depressing thing, they just disappear. I don't consider myself to be suicidal, I just tell myself I am imaginative. I don't want to die, I just don't want to exist. To die is to leave everyone you know behind, and almost always with questions un-answered. But to not exist is to know no one, and have no one know of you, to simply not be there, not be the hole in the heart of a loved one, or an empty seat next to a friend...

Sometimes I find myself gasping for air more often when I'm not in water than when in it, because sometimes I'm so imaginative I imagine myself at home, lying in the water, forgetting about the world.