Sweet and Bitter

Part one

I'm getting old now, well that's what they said yesterday.
They do a check up on us, because many go on summer holidays, so they make sure we are as okay as we can be here before leaving for their fancy vacations.
I've been on fancy vacations too, they are not that good anymore, not that I go out either.

Well, I'm having those nightmares again, falling from that old bridge where we used to go together for my birthday.

But now I'm alone, all alone, you have both left me, I can hardly sleep without that tasteless medicine, and even with the medicine I have to force my eyes, my ears and even my nose shut so I can sleep, I hate having a roommate with farting problems, sometimes I see it before I smell it.

But then when I finally sleep, I find myself with the same nightmare, I wake up teary eyed and sweating and my heart would be beating fast, the saddest part is I just want it to stop beating.

It has been years now, am I going to die too? Maybe the nightmares are a sign,
I can't work anymore, I owned a big company and made more money than I will ever need but none of that money could make my nightmares go away, or my family to come back.

The doctors keep telling me that I'm ill and in need of help, well then 'help, please?'
I don't like doctors, I was strong and respected but then I realized that my strength came from my family, I had to be strong for them to protect them and be there for them whenever they needed me, now I don't feel needed.

I at least hope I was a good dad, that's what my little girl and my wife would tell me.

My family, they left. And I'm all alone now, again.