Zero Mission | Natasha Romanoff

CHAPTER 21

Content Warning: Though there are no details of it, underage survival sex work gets mentioned. There is also forced intoxication and abduction at the end of the chapter.

If you or someone you know is a queer youth who has runaway or been kicked out of their home, please know that each state has resources available that can help. Here is a list compiled by Lambda Legal: https://www.lambdalegal.org/sites/default/files/publications/downloads/fs_resources-for-lgbtq-youth-by-state_1.pdf

"Food" ended up being a mom and pop diner on Hollywood Boulevard called Eddie's Star Burger. Natasha sat and watched in awe as Aurora downed four breakfast sandwiches and a side of fries. The display made Nat wonder if her cooking would garner the same ravenous reaction from the cute girl sitting across from her. Natasha hated cooking for anyone, having had to play the doting girlfriend or prospective wife on a number of deep cover assignments. But when she found someone she cared about, it was one of the many ways she was able to show her affection outside of physical touch.

Was that also true of Aurora? Did she know how to cook? Would she want to do the same for Natasha?

All these what-ifs for a relationship that hadn't even happened yet and was doomed to end if it ever did. Every minute that ticked towards the mission's end was a minute closer to the truth tearing them apart. Maybe. Probably. Definitely. It was always that way. Adriana flashed in her mind, as well as any other person she got close to during a mission. Then there was Yelena, the closest Natasha ever had to a sister. It was clear from the moment she turned eighteen that love of any kind was not just out of reach, but something she would never be worthy of.

Natasha would just have to make the best of the time she had. However, that time felt like it was spent waiting to die.

Both women had finished eating, and now sat in tense silence. It was clear that Aurora didn't want to tell Tasha the truth, and it left her scared that what Aurora experienced was far worse than she had deduced.

"When I realized I was trans, I was so scared to tell anyone. Even Josie," Aurora began. She didn't look at Natasha, instead keeping her gaze down at the table and scraps of paper on the tray. "But, I decided to tell my parents first. I figured, since dad was a scientist, he'd understand," a heavy sigh pushed out of her lungs as she leaned back in her chair and slouched. Aurora looked up at the ceiling, "Hoo boy, was I wrong."

"Both of them turned on me instantly. They called me names, said they didn't have a son. Which, yeah. No shit, mom and dad. That's what I just told you." Aurora tilted her head back down and looked Natasha in the eyes, "They gave me ten minutes to gather some things, and then I was out of the house. I was sixteen and they kicked me out."

As Natasha studied Aurora, it was clear revisiting these memories was so painful, that she went numb. All emotion shut off to make room for the retelling of the most painful chapter of her life. It was odd, being on the receiving end of that, but Natasha understood the mechanics and the whys of losing your emotions when it came to trauma. The trick was to not let that become your default state, to not let the pain destroy everything about you. Romanoff was always on the edge of that knife, ever teetering closer and closer to letting her heart close itself off to the world. If it weren't for the second chance she'd been given, she would be like that all the time. Or worse.

Widow had to ask herself if she needed to know what happened to Aurora when she was disowned by the Wagners, since none of it was mission critical. The situation reminded her of how she felt recounting her past to SHIELD. Guilt bubbled up in Nat's throat, "Aurora, I'm Sorry. I shouldn't have-

"No. I need to get this out of my head," Aurora countered. "Besides, I suck at lying. I would have blurted it out or something anyway."

Aurora straightened up in her seat as she crossed her arms over her middle. Apprehension clouded her face, telling Natasha there was even more to the story.