Residues

Chapter 13

"Taxi?" Suhani asked.

"Yeah. We can drop you and go. What about Ishi?" My house was in the opposite direction.

"I can drop her after the rain," Yash said. They nodded.

After they left, I walked into the kitchen. Yash was taking some chips from the cupboard. His parents were outside. That is why we gathered at his house tonight. I walked to Yash and showed him the photo of the guy. "What?" he asked.

"My future husband," I said.

"He looks 35."

"He is 27."

He shrugged and walked past me. I got annoyed. "I am really going to get married; you know..."

"Congrats." He waved his hand as he walked away.

"I will invite you to the wedding next month," I said.

He turned around. "Next month?"

"Yeah," I said. It was a lie. My parents had just asked me to consider the guy. But I saw Yash's jaw twitch. His eyes narrow, reflecting possessiveness. But he did not want to lose if this was just a game. "Okay..." he said.

I felt hurt. And angry and irritated. I bit my lips. "I can go home on my own. No need to drop me." I said and went to the front door. "Don't be crazy. It's raining." Yash said.

"I can handle some rain." I opened the front door to his little house and stepped outside. It was pouring. And I had no umbrella.

"Do you have an umbrella?" I turned to Yash.

"Come back inside."

"No..."

"Ishu..."

"Don't call me Ishu..."

"What is your problem now?"

I turned around and walked into the rain. I stepped outside the gate and walked. He came following me and grabbed my hand. "Come back inside."

"No." I broke free from his hands.

"Look, I know that all this marriage thing is just your game to make me jealous... And I am... Fine now?"

"No. It's not fine." I shouted at him. "I am tired of this. These games... I am tired of these sneaking around, the random hook-ups and break-ups... I am just tired. If you don't make a decision, I am actually going to get married."

"No. You are not."

"I will."

"You can't."

"Why can't I?" I yelled.

"Because you are fucking mine. That's why you can't..."

Normally, I would melt. But I was actually done. Tired. So I just turned around and walked. "Ishu wait." He called after me. I did not wait, "Ishu..." And all I can think of was that he never once called me 'Ishu' in front of others. "Ishu..." he grabbed my hand, I snapped it out of his grasp.

"What's your problem?" He asked.

"What's my problem? What's my problem is that you are fucking selfish. And I am tired. Of our games. I am tired... of... pretending. Of... everything. I want someone who can be with me. And if it is not you, I will find someone else. Really." I finish, sounding very down. And I saw his eyes change. "I am serious about this marriage," I said. "I lied when I said it is in a month. But if you... if we are the same... I will tell my parents to proceed with that."

And I again turned to go. But he pulled my hand back and cupped my face and kissed me. "Enough Yash..." I pushed him away.

"I won't let you go..." Yash said. "I... I can't lose you, damn it..." He moved a hand through his wet hair. "Ishi... why can't you see???" He stepped closer... "I... Damn it... You listen to me. I am not losing you to some bloody fucker. You are mine." I turned my eyes away.

"No, look at me..."

"I am leaving you..."

"Ishu...please..." his tone changed. I looked up... "I... We will do it your way."

"Huh?"

He cupped my face again... "I can't see you with someone else." His thumb moved over my cheek. "Let's go public. I will tell them that we are dating. Rihan, Suhani, Vishwa everyone, I will talk to your parents and ask for permission to be your boyfriend. Fuck! I will do all that shit Rihan does for Suhani. So... Ishi, please..."

"Are you serious?" I asked unable to believe it. "Do you promise?"

"Yes. Yes, I promise..." Yash said. "We will tell people. Change status in Facebook. Post photos together."

"Hold hand in public?"

"Yeah. Hold hand in public," he nodded.

"Get married someday?" I felt that is pushing it.

His eyes lit up in surprise. "Yeah. Get married someday..." he concluded softly. And took me into his embrace. The rain fell around us. I pressed my head to his chest with my hand around his waist. I wanted to tell him that I love him. But I did not...

I should have said. I should have...

Instead, I looked up. He looked down. We kissed.

After that, he dropped me home. I waved him bye.

And on the drive back home, his bike was hit by a truck... He died instantly.

Chapter 13.5

Ishi was the most affected by Yash's death.

Back then we all had assumed that she felt guilty

And shocked.

Because he died on the way back from her home

She did not really speak to us for a couple of months.

Now, I feel so terrible that we did not understand

the depth of her pain