Love You, Goodbye

Promise Me

*This chapter will mention self harm*

When Harry woke up the next morning he did not move a muscle. He let his mind wake up and noticed Louis was laying on him. He did not want to let Louis know he was awake, afraid Louis would get off of him and leave. So, Harry laid there. 

A little bit later, Harry felt Louis grab a hold of his left wrist. Louis rubbed what Harry could tell was his thumb across the scars on Harry's wrist. Harry willed his body not to move or tense up. Louis was one of very few people who knew about the scars on Harry's wrist. He felt Louis kiss each of the four larger scars. 

Then Harry heard Louis whisper, " You have to promise me you won't do this again when I leave, You have to promise me that you will be strong love." 

Harry felt tears building in his eyes. With the way he was hurting, knowing Louis was still set on leaving him, there was no way he would or could promise Louis those things.

 Louis was never even supposed to know about Harry's secret. However, one day while on tour, Louis caught him.

Tour with The British Rogue had been a blast. They had traveled to many locations and Harry had become close with the boys and even closer with Louis. 

No one knew about Harry and Louis and he was fine with that. However, it was getting harder and harder for them to find time to be alone or to even be together. Louis was still very adamant that no one, not even the boys, could know about their relationship. 

Harry was happy, or so he pushed himself to believe that. 

No one in The British Rogue. or even management. knew about his past demons. He was great at hiding his struggles. Always keeping a happy, go lucky personality, along with a smile on his face. 

Harry had been fine this whole time, so he wasn't sure where this feeling was coming from and why it was getting stronger each day. He was trying really hard to push it away. 

It had been about a month that Harry and Niall were doing their own tour now. They still stayed with The British Rogue boys, but they had concerts in the same places, but different days. 

It was Wednesday and Harry woke up in Amsterdam. He was excited to be here. It was a beautiful place. While getting ready in his hotel room, Harry suddenly had a strong urge. One he hadn't had in years. 

Harry fell to his knees and closed his eyes. What is your problem? He thought to himself. You are supposed to be okay. You are supposed to be happy. You are doing something that you love to do with some amazing people. You can not go down this road again. 

Harry stayed on his knees for a few minutes longer, taking deep breaths in and out. The feeling slowly went away. Harry decided to get up and finish getting ready. 

As the day went on, Harry found himself thinking about it again. He e was sitting at lunch with the boys and suddenly he felt someone tap his leg under the table. 

He looked over and found Louis staring at him. He looked concerned. 

" Harry, are you okay?  You look out of it today?" Louis asked Harry. Harry gave Louis a little smile. 

" Yeah, I am okay. Maybe a little tired is all." Harry said, convincing Louis. 

" Maybe a nap then? You know we really don't have any plans today. I can go with the boys into town and you can rest." Louis stated. Harry looked at him. He just wanted to lean over and hug Louis so much right now, but he refrained. He knew Louis would freak out if he did that in public.