Chapter 22

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Chapter 22: Strange

It seemed like my lips and eyes were somehow connected. The moment Ulrich pressed his lips into mine, my eyes inevitably closed.

It brought a foreign sensation— a first-time feeling.

In the chaotic state of my mind, I remember what Ate Sarah said to me once, "You know a kiss is real when you inevitably closed your eyes. That means... your heart feels safe with that person."

So... I immediately opened my eyes.

His eyes were still shut.

I felt the lack of energy to push him away. Parang hinihigop niya lahat ng lakas ko sa katawan. I was left with no choice. I bit his lips... hard.

"Shittt!" Naitulak niya ako palayo sa pagkabigla. Nakaawang ang kanyang mga labi habang ang ibaba nito ay may dugo dulot ng maliit na sugat na nagawa ko.

"S-she's inside the restroom now," I told him.

Putek. Hindi ako makahinga nang mabuti. Mabilis ang pagtaas at baba ng mga balikat ko. Sa tingin ko nga ay nanginginig pa ang katawan ko.

He licked the blood on his lower lip.

"Mauuna na ako sa table," paalam ko.

Suminghap ako. Nakayuko akong umalis doon. Bumalik na ako sa table namin. Agad kong inabot ang tubig na nakita saka diretso itong ininom.

My heart— why the fuck is it acting like I am about to have a heart attack? Sobrang bilis ng tibok nito. Para akong hinihingal na hindi ko maipaliwanag.

I shook my hands under the table. Sinandal ko ang katawan ko at huminga nang malalim. Kinalma ko ang naghuhuramentado kong sistema.

That was... my first kiss.

Though I don't have any dreamy plans how I want my first kiss to be, I still couldn't believe it happened with the last person on my list of 'dream guys I want to kiss.'

Medyo kalmado na rin ako nung makabalik si Ulrich. Hindi ko na siya matingnan sa mga mata. Uminom ako ng tubig at saka kinuha na lang ang cell phone ko.

"I had to—"

"I need to—" Natigilan ako nung magkasabay kami sa pagsasalita.

Naramdaman kong gumalaw si Ulrich sa kanyang upuan. Tumikhim siya saka huminga nang malalim.

"I need to go before an hour," sabi ko habang ang tingin ay nasa cell phone. I pretended to be texting someone even though I was just typing random letters on my notes.

"Okay. I will drive you home."

I nodded. "Yeah..."

Silence ate us whole.

Yumuko ako at kinagat nang madiin ang labi. I should be mad at him, right? He should have not kissed me! That was not part of the game!

But then... it is. We are pretending couples here. Couples do kiss.

I need to play it cool. Mukha namang hindi apektado si Ulrich kaya bakit ako magpapaapekto?

"Bumabalik na sa table si Ate Sarah mo," Ulrich reported.

Umangat ang tingin ko sa kanya. Nagkasalubong ang mga mata namin. A spark of humiliation ignited on my chest but I refused to be the first one to break the contact.

I am not affected!

Sa tagal ng pagtitig niya sa akin ay tila naguluhan siya.

"Is that your first kiss?" he asked, muffled.

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