"Is that a comfort thing for you?" She asked.
"W-what?" I asked.
"Scratching your wrists I mean, is that comforting for you?" She asked.
She caught me.
"I-I don't- no I just do it because it makes me feel good" I said.
"I want you to stop doing that okay? Do you think we can agree on that?" She asked in her annoying therapy voice.
"I don't know" I said.
"I might need to let Maya and Carina in on this one" she said.
"Why? You told me you wouldn't" I said.
"Your harming yourself, which means I have to tell them" she said.
"I-I I'm not harming myself" I said.
"You are, scratching your wrists is a form of self harm" she said.
I sighed and the tears welled up in my eyes again.
"I will go get Maya and Carina okay? Just sit tight" she said as she walked out to get them.
I sat there on the stupid couch, probably looking like a kid who had stolen candy and were about to be scolded.
I felt the anxiety rise thru my body and it wouldn't stop, it's like a itchy feeling all over my body that just won't stop, it makes my body shaky and my mind become blurry.
I started bouncing my knee up and down.
Maya and Carina walked in and sat down on each side of me, they looked calm and happy so I guess she hasn't told them yet.
"So would you like me to tell them? Or would you rather explain it yourself?" She asked.
"I-I don't understand why your making such a big deal about this" I said while wiping away my tears.
"You might think you have it under control now but sometime some day you will slip up and it will get worse therefor I'm obligated to let your legal guardian know" she said.
"You tell them" I said angrily.
"I noticed Sofia has a behavior when she gets anxious or stressed out, she scratches her wrists with her nails. You might not think it's that serious but it is a form of self harm as she find it comforting with the action"
"I would recommend you keeping an eye on that, if it gets worse or doesn't stop you'll just let me know and I will come up with a plan for this" she said.
The session ended and we walked out to the car.
Carina looked at me, now with sad eyes.
"Can I see?" Carina asked.
"It's nothing" I said.
"If it's nothing then please let me see" she said.
I nodded and she gently lifted up the sleeves from my long sleeve T-shirt.
The red marks were clearly visible, I could see Maya glancing over.
"Listen to me okay?"
"If you feel like you need to do something like this again I want you to tell Me or Maya, no matter what we are doing or how important it is you need to tell us okay?"
"I'll try" I said.
"That's all we're asking for" Maya said.
"Are you angry with me?" I asked as we walked in to the apartment again.
"No not angry,I'm just a little sad I don't notice" Carina said.
"It's not your fault" I said.
I went to my room and laid down, I fell asleep after another hour of crying silently.
I feel like such a burden now, just because the therapist had to tell them that.
[Maya's POV]
I woke up In the middle of the night of a creaking sound, I noticed it because it sounds like that every time you open the door to Carina and I bedroom.
I looked towards the door opening to see Sofia standing there.
I got up and pulled her with me to her bedroom.
"Did something happen?" I asked.
"I woke up and I couldn't sleep, I debated on wether I should've waken you up or not" she said.
"Of course you should wake us up if you can't sleep, did you have a bad dream?" I asked her.
"No I just woke up and started thinking, then I just couldn't go back to sleeping because I had so many thoughts in my brain all at ones" she said.
"What were you thinking about?" I asked gently as I pulled her down on my chest so I could stroke her hair.
"About what the therapist told you, I don't want to be in the way of you two having fun and being happy now that your going to foster a child that will need all of your attention. Im just overthink everything" she said and sighed.
"You are not in the way of us having fun and being happy, I love spending time with you and you make me really happy I would never think of you as a burden"
"When he comes you will be the best ever, and he will love you I'm sure of that" I said.
"And about what the therapist told us, I think that it's good that she let us know because now we know what to think of and what we can help with" I said.
"You don't think I'm crazy?" She asked quietly.
"I would never, you know when I was younger my dad was really mean to me in ways that a parent should never be"
"He would push me so hard and if I failed I wasn't able to eat and I would have to run even more, he was so cruel to me"
"One time when I had a sprained ankle he made me run the race, I won it but it didn't feel good at all because my father, the one who is supposed to love me to infinity had just pushed me to running an entire race with a sprained ankle"
"I started thinking about dying when I was only twelve, that's what he did to me"
"So no, I will never think you are crazy" I said.
"Do you still talk to your dad?" She asked.
"No I don't, I'm not even sad about it because I'm happy now" I said.
"That's good, that your happy I mean" she said.
"Yeah, it is. I want you to be as happy as I am too" I said softly.
"I love you Maya" she said quietly just as she closed her eyes.
"I love you too sweetheart" I said and watched her fall asleep.
