Letting Him In

Chapter-17

"And you didn't think to practice those concepts?"

"I practiced all day yesterday, but I couldn't get them right. I'm sorry. I'll do better," he repeated.

Kaeden remembered trying to keep his fear in check, but there was only so much an eight-year-old could do.

His father shook his head. "Excuses won't get you anywhere in life, Kaeden," he said, unbuckling his belt. Kaeden blinked back tears, his small body almost shaking with fear. He hated the belt; it stung so much and hurt even more after the punishment was over.

"I'm sorry, dada. I'll try harder. Sorry," he said, swallowing the lump in his throat.

Right now, Kaeden wanted to scream at his younger self to run, to ask somebody, anybody for help. To not bear this torture for four more years. But he was as helpless as he had been back then.

"You know the rules, Kaeden. Shirt off and bend over the bed," his father said, and he froze up in fear. That voice scared him more than anything else possibly could have. It was the one his father used when his punishment was going to be worse than usual. His orders became short and clipped; and more forceful, too. Another glare shot his way jerked Kaeden out of his stupor, as he hurried to comply with his father's orders.

He couldn't even keep the tears at bay anymore. He felt the pain from the belt, but the ache deep in his heart was incomparable to any other pain. All he wished for was to be better, to not mess up, but somehow he always ended up doing the exact opposite and disappointing his father over and over again.

As the belt left fresh bruises on his back, he found himself wondering how his father's playful, kind attitude had turned so unforgiving so soon. Through a haze of tears, he realized that he was sobbing, begging for it to be over. He lost count after twenty. And when it was finally over, Kaeden felt drained of any strength. His father pulled him onto his lap, murmuring how he only wanted the best for him. Kaeden wanted to leave his embrace, but he needed the comfort too, so he sat there stiffly until sleep creeped up on him.

He woke up to a soft hand running through his hair. Rolling over, he winced as his back came in contact with the bed, and saw his mother sitting next to him.

"What happened, baby?" she questioned softly, taking in his tear-stained face. Looking at her clothes, Kaeden realized that she must have just returned from her shift at the hospital. He was wearing his t-shirt again, so he figured his father must have put it on him sometime after he had fallen asleep.

Rubbing his eyes, he wrapped his arms around his mother and buried his face in her side. He always felt safe in his mother's arms, as if no one, not even his father, could harm him there. "The belt," he mumbled, voice slightly muffled. "I didn't do well in my math test. Was a bad boy, so dada punished me," he further explained, feeling tears prick his eyes as his mother hugged him back, careful not to apply pressure on his already throbbing back.

"You're not a bad boy, Kade. And I know you'll do better next time. We all mess up sometimes," she reassured, kissing his hair. "And I'm so sorry I wasn't here to stop him, baby. But I'm gonna go grab some medicine to put on any cuts on your back, okay? So take off your t-shirt. We can order something to eat after that and watch TV; your dad's out with some of his golf friends, so it'll be just us."

Kaeden did as she asked; but every time the antiseptic touched one of his cuts, he flinched at the burning sensation.

"Mama, can we go to visit Lijah, please?" he begged as she handed him one of his softer t-shirts once she was done.

"Kaeden... you know its past visiting hours," she said.

"But please? I didn't see him yesterday either," he pleaded, shooting her a wide-eyed, innocent look. He was exhausted, and he knew that his best friend's company would cheer him up.