faceless | dreamwastaken

57

dream was right though, maybe she was being self centred. she wasn't the only one struggling right now, the people closest to her were too and she hadn't even thought to ask how they were doing, she was too caught up in her own emotions.

she was so angry at the world. her fists were clenched and she was fighting the urge to just scream.

she struggled to swallow, it felt like her heart was in her throat, constricting her from breathing properly.
her face was red from the crying and her head was sore from not getting enough air.

she wanted dream, she needed him. she kept yelling at him saying she needed space but in reality she didn't. she needed him she just didn't want to admit that out loud.

she wanted dream to tell her everything was okay even if it wasn't necessarily. she wanted the reassurance of that and she wanted to know he still loved her. but how could she blame him if he didn't? she was horrible to him and she knew that, he deserved better.

she wanted to scream, kick, punch anything that was in her way. she'd kept most of her emotions bottled up the past few days, despite the couple outbursts at dream and as bad as it felt at this exact moment there was also a sense of relief.

she'd let it out.

dream was still in the kitchen, sitting there just staring at his hands. he felt so guilty for calling her self centred, he knew she wasn't. everything had just been flipped upside down for her and he was calling her self centred? how could he do that to her?

he wanted to do nothing more than go and give her the biggest hug and apologise, but he knew from the past few days she didn't want a hug. she wanted space.

he sat there scratching at his hands in frustration, why didn't he just bite his tongue, this wouldn't have happened if he just stopped himself from saying something stupid.

maybe she was right, he was being a little selfish, but did he really want to admit that?

he could feel his cheeks burning and the back of his throat starting to feel as if it was on fire as he tried to hold back the tears. he wanted belle. he wanted her to be there to whisper in his ear telling him she still loved him no matter what. but he didn't have that, as much as he wished he did and it was his fault.

so as they both cried their hearts out wishing for each other, but they never got what they wanted. all because they were too stubborn to admit it.

but finally after two hours of being nothing but angry at himself dream forced himself to knock on belles door and ask to talk maturely.

"bells?" he said quietly.

"what?" her voice was raspy and broke when she spoke.

"can i come in? i think we should talk." he replied, peeping his head through the door.

"yeah come in." she said tiredly.

he sat down on the bed next to her, he hadn't properly looked at her the last couple of days and never noticed how tired she looked.

the bags under her eyes were heavy and purple, as if they carried the weight of the world on their shoulders. her hair which never looked out of place was messy and knotted and the light behind her eyes were completely gone.

she could say the same for him, as she looked at him properly for the first time in what felt like forever, she saw how run down and tired he seemed. even his cheeks which were usually pink and filled with colour ran empty like a dark road at the dead of night.

it wasn't even the whole drama that had gotten them like this, it was each other. it was the constant yelling and fighting with the person they loved most. it was hurting the person they never wanted to hurt that made them like this.

because love isn't easy, it's never going to be. but love is being willing to stay even when the odds seem against you.

"hi." he said nervously.

"hi." she replied, same tone.

"so," he paused, "i'm sorry."

"i'm sor-" he cut her off before she finished, "no wait. i'm really fucking sorry bells, i know things have been terrible lately and i know you're struggling. i'm not saying that you aren't just as much at fault as i am but i'm saying i get it. i can't say anything about the way you're handling this because i know in your position i'd handle it way worse." he paused,

"i shouldn't have yelled and neither should you. we both made mistakes but that doesn't matter. i said some shitty things and i promise you with my whole heart i didn't mean any of them. i should have listened more and not made it a competition. i know i said things i can't take back but if i could i promise i would."

"clay," her voice cracked and she cleared her throat, "i'm so sorry too. you're right i shouldn't have yelled and i said some things i really regret. you aren't selfish. you're anything but selfish. i didn't even need to ask you to stay and you did anyway because you knew that's what i would want."

"just because i was angry didn't give me the right to take it all out on you and i can't apologise enough for that. i really didn't mean anything i said. i think nothing but the best of you and i can't thank you enough for sticking around this whole time." she looked at him wondering what he was thinking after she stopped talking.

he just looked at her, the words processing in his head. he wasn't angry or annoyed at her, he just wanted things to go back to normal.

"i missed you so much." he whispered.

"i missed you too."

the couple sat there, no more talking, just silence. understanding that whatever was said in the past few days didn't need brought up again. it would be left in the last and they'd forget about it like it never happened.

and although it had only been five days of abnormality it felt like a life time. they held each other close more certain than ever to never hurt each other the way they did again.

because clay and belle loved each other and didn't want to have to imagine a life without one another.

authors note

hope the forgiving made
you lot forgive me for the
last couple chapters <3

despite what you all think
i do love you, it's just funny to
see you all freak out ;]

also a couple of people have
been messaging me asking
about boundaries so i
thought i'd just give you some!

first of all, you can call me whatever
you like, author, katie, sunny/sunnysaps
i don't mind i'm fine with all!

also criticism as long as it's
constructive, is always welcome as
are recommendations you'd like
to see me add in the story!

i don't rlly have many boundaries
i've never rlly thought of them
but as long as you are nice then
everything should be perfect!

as always i love you, take care! <3