Love, My Hell Life

EMANCIPATION IN A DREAM

CHAPTER 2

EMANCIPATION IN A DREAM

She's reached her other world, the one she enters through a parallel door, between dream, imagination and longing.

She wakes up. "Come on and sing, sing life, come on and run, run little girl, come on, come on we're gonna dance, come on, come on we're gonna have fun", she sings silently. Abigail make a cup of tea, sits down briefly and has an idea as she picks up the kettle. A little voice tells her to have a look at the computer.

She follows her impulse and connects to the internet.

She types in the search engines:

- lonely woman without any passions wants to blossom

- woman feeling lonely and neglected

- woman wanting to have fun with new friends

- young classy woman seeking new experience.

Naughty dating sites, chat rooms, forums and sites offering a lover for a night or for life all appear on the screen. There's so much choice, she doesn't know where to start. All these sites converge in front of her excited eyes.

Dating sites for a night or for life, risqué sites, sites for mature women wanting intimacy with the utmost secrecy, men offering their bodies in return for money.

She doesn't know where to click. She shivers and has goose bumps, feeling a mix of fear and happiness.

She looks at different sites at the same time, and discovers all these tempting and accessible proposals; the only restriction is for those under eighteen years of age.

First, she goes on chat rooms and forums where everyone talks about their life, imparting their tips and recommendations, such as "how to eat better and spend less" or "how to loose weight without sacrifices". There are those who give cooking suggestions and recipes, or ideas of "how to earn money without moving"; a real treasure trove of information.

There are those who relate their happy life on blogs, with pictures as supporting evidence, and those feeling sorry for themselves. And there are those who reflect on their life experience and want to find an ally, a kind of a virtual half who might have been through the same situation and wishes to talk about it, to stop feeling afraid or guilty.

Abigail herself is looking for these women who, fed-up just like her, have the impression of being a living shadow of themselves at home. A sense of relief slightly dissipates her discontent when she realizes that other women of varying ages are in the same situation as her.

She registers on forums to get in touch with these ladies. She chooses "LaSolitudine" as her nickname, from the lyrics of Laura Pausini's song. She thinks it says a lot about her.

She reads the summary of a young woman's life whose nickname is "Bluefishfromtheocean" and she's touched by her story. She sends her a private message telling "Bluefishfromtheocean" that she perfectly understands her life story, that her experience echoes hers. She hopes for an answer from this contact...

Afterwards Abigail continues reading forums. On one of them, she finds a woman of a certain age explaining that her couple was breaking down and what had saved them was having risqué relationships with other couples, or separately with others, but openly.

She wonders if she should get in touch with "Bambieyes" because although her lifestyle is so different from Abigail's, her honesty has really touched her.

She doesn't resist the temptation. "What about being a little more understanding with others? This is open-mindedness too". And if you want potential friendships you have to seek them out. Maybe "Bambieyes" is a good person, even if her morals are different from Abigail's.