Identity (Phan)

Epilogue

9 Years Later

Dan's lungs felt as if they were going to burst into flames and his breath was coming out in short gasps. Sweat was pooling on his forehead, making his fringe curl into little ringlets, but he ignored it along with how his legs were on fire.

He slammed into the door of his flat, sweaty palm grappling with the door handle before swinging it open, nearly falling inside. "Phil!" He screeched, launching himself up the stairs, a smile playing on the edge of his lips. 

The sound of soft, classical music stopped him in his tracks when he came to the lounge, eyes widening when he noticed candles littering the tabletops and window sills and the piano Phil had bought him for his eighteenth birthday.

"Phil?" He called again, confused when he was met with only silence. That was when he noticed a small sticky note stuck to the keys of the piano, and he rolled his eyes when he read over it. "My fucking boyfriend," he muttered, shaking his head with a rather fond grin.

Come find me. -Phil x

It was followed by a sticker of a cup of coffee with anime eyes, and after knowing Phil for nearly ten years, Dan knew that it was some sort of hint. Since it was a coffee sticker, Dan was going to take a wild guess and say Phil was residing in Starbucks.

He headed out once again, quickly shuffling to the Starbucks down the street from their flat. Once inside, he scanned the room for his dorky boyfriend but came up empty handed. 

Grudgingly, he padded over to the barista, a teenage girl with blonde hair and blue eyes that weren't nearly as vibrant as Phil's. "Can I help you?" She chimed, a mechanic smile plastered on her face. 

"Erm," Dan cleared his throat awkwardly, never having really gotten over his social anxiety. "Did a man come in here with blue eyes and black fringe? I'm looking for my boyfriend."

Her eyes widened and her smile became considerably more real, giving her an aura like that of a small child. "Are you Dan?"

Blinking, Dan nodded and gaped as she handed him a coffee, winking cheerfully at him. He took a cautious sip, rolling his eyes and grinning when he found it was a caramel macchiato. And then a smear of black caught his eye, across the foam of the cup.

Gotta try harder than that, gorgeous. -Phil x

He drew a picture of a book next to the message and Dan groaned, ignoring the smirk of the barista. "What a nerd," he hissed, shuffling out the door with a quick word of thanks to the girl, striding as quickly as he could to the bookstore across the street.

This time, Dan went straight up to the man working behind the counter, and the man had a grin identical to the barista's when he handed Dan a Winnie the Pooh book inscribed with a message on the inside cover.

"You don't spell love, you feel it." -Phil x

A piece of paper fell onto the ground and Dan leaned over to snatch it up, eyes widening when he realized that it was a pamphlet to the London Eye. "That sneaky shit," Dan laughed breathlessly, adjusting his jumper and starting off in the direction of the giant Ferris Wheel.

When he got there, it was nearly dark and water coloured pinks and oranges stained the skies. He stepped forward and it didn't seem to have a line, so he allowed himself to cautiously walk up, wondering why his heart was pounding so fast.

"Dan Howell?" A man asked when he walked up to the entrance, nodding quietly at the question. "Right this way." He ushered Dan into one of the pods and Dan nearly lost his breath at what was inside.

"Phil," he breathed, face flushing as he took in his boyfriend, the way his blue eyes glittered in the lights. He was wearing a suit and his face glowed with the huge grin on his face.

"Hey," Phil chuckled, walking to Dan in two long strides and taking Dan into his arms. He kissed Dan with so much passion that it made Dan lose his breath and melt into Phil's embrace. "Congratulations on your last day of therapy."

Dan smiled and kissed Phil's neck from where he had buried his head into it. "Is that what this is all about?" He whispered into Phil's warm skin.

Phil cleared his throat and Dan could feel the skin heat under his touch. "Um, sort of." He pulled away with a kiss to the top of Dan's head. His cheeks were a dusty pink as he grasped Dan's hand in his. "We've been dating for a long time now. Nine years, to be exact, and I still feel the exact same way as I did when I first met you. I'm so, so proud of how far you've come, and every time you smile, I fall in love with you all over again."

"Where is this going?" Dan interrupted quietly, tears pricking in his eyes as he looked down at the man he was so undeniably in love with. 

"Patience, Dan," Phil snorted, eyes glimmering. "I'm getting there." He squeezed Dan's hand and pressed a kiss to the knuckles before kneeling, giving Dan a huge grin while Dan let out a small sob, free hand flying to cover his mouth at the sight of a small black box. "I don't want to spend my life with anyone else. Will you-?"

"Yes!" Dan shouted, launching himself at his boyfriend - no, fiance - and pressing kisses all over Phil's face while Phil laughed and slid a gold band onto his finger. Finally, their lips met and Phil brushed a few tears from Dan's cheek with soft fingertips while Dan sighed happily.

It's been two years since Dan had last blacked out, and although he swears he still can hear the occasional people bickering in his head, he doesn't need them to protect him anymore. He remembers. And if you told him nine years ago that he would remember every moment of his life, while engaged to the most amazing man in the world, then he wouldn't have believed it.

But here he is. He made it.

-
A/N: WOW OK SO THIS IS THE END. THIS FEELS SO WEIRD LIKE???? (ok there was supposed to be like one more chapter but i literally had nothing else to add to this story so i decided to just write the epilogue donT HATE ME). Anyways, please tell me how you liked it as this literally took about a year to finish (and its actually the first story i've actually decided to finish). I love you all so much. Thank you for sticking with me throughout this trainwreck <3