My brother's roommate - ENG

11.

Maya was alone in her room, sitting on her bed, knees drawn up to her chest, cell phone tossed to the side of the bed. Maya could see from her position the messages reflected on the screen and every word she read took her back to her past, to when she still lived with her parents and pleasing Lane Bishop was her biggest goal, to make the man who gave her life look at her with appreciation, even for a few seconds was what she worked for day and night. Every drop of sweat and every step towards the goal was motivated by her father's words echoing in her head "Eyes forward, eyes forward all the time" nothing else mattered. She had to be number one if she wanted to come home and be greeted with more than a disapproving look, she had to be number one if she wanted to come home and see a plate of food on the table for herself, she had to be number one if she didn't want to run home alone in the dark after coming in second place, she had to be number one so that even for a few seconds at home there would be peace and quiet without her father complaining because his family was a disappointment, because his children were not good enough for him and venting all his anger and frustration on her.

Maya had grown accustomed to that life, to her father's abuse, to her mother's attitude. Over the years she learned to read Lane Bishop, knew his every attitude and gesture and knew just when he was losing patience and about to explore in anger. Her life was molded in such a way that her actions were focused on pleasing him to make him proud, to avoid those moments of anger and to somehow feel that she was not a complete disappointment as a daughter. Four years ago, Maya opened her eyes, she realized that she could not continue with that life, taking care of every step she took, basing every decision she made on what her father would say, trying to please him, to be his child, his champion. Four years ago, she made a decision that changed her life completely, she packed her things and left home, without looking back, without saying a word. Leaving that life and her family, she hated having to leave Mason behind, her brother wasn't to blame for anything, but she couldn't pretend anymore. She was tired of that life, of always having to be the best, of not being able to be herself but a complete puppet who did nothing but please her father's wishes.

Since she left home the only person Maya had contact with from her family was Mason, their relationship was not the best, but despite everything Maya always tried to keep in touch with him and they supported each other, after all Mason was still her little brother and she adored him. Four years ago, Maya completely cut off communication with her father and decided it was time to live the life she wanted, but the memories still haunted her every day. And now 4 years later she found herself living a nightmare.

"You were so stupid to think you were going to be able to hide from me."

"You thought your good-for-nothing brother was going to be able to hide something from me."

"You made fun of me for so many years, but no more."

"I know where to find you, I'm your father you can never run away from me"

"All the years I invested in your future you threw away, now you will have to pay me back for everything I invested in you."

"I don't know why I had the misfortune of having such good-for-nothing and ungrateful children."

" I always knew you would be a disappointment, you never lived up to it."

Tears were falling from her eyes as she read over and over the messages on her screen, after 4 years he had found her. Maya was terrified thinking about what her father would do when he found her. She also felt guilty because she knew Lane was going to take all his anger out on Mason, her little brother who only wanted to support and protect her and now he was in trouble because of her. She was so terrified that she spent the rest of the week locked up at home, she decided not to attend her classes at the university for fear that Lane would look for her there and she made sure that the apartment was always locked so that no one besides Carina and Andrew could get in. She tried to contact Mason a couple of times to check on him, but had no success, which worried her even more.

Carina noticed the change in Maya's attitude, since the other night the blonde seemed worried all the time, she noticed that she didn't leave the apartment all week not even to go for a run and she barely left her room. The smile that usually illuminated her face had completely disappeared, replaced by huge dark circles under her eyes that showed that she had not slept well for nights. What worried Carina the most was to see that every time someone entered the apartment or a noise was heard at the door, Maya would panic and back away, as if trying to protect herself from something or someone. Carina was very worried about Maya, but after the way she had treated her the other night she felt she should give her space, after all Maya didn't want her help.

It was Friday Night and Carina was returning from the academy, when she walked in she noticed Maya sleeping soundly on the couch, a small smile formed on her lips as she saw that finally the blonde was resting after so many sleepless nights. Quietly Carina walked to her room when she heard murmurs coming from the living room. When she returned, she noticed that it was Maya mumbling in her sleep. – Mason I'm sorry, I'm really really sorry. She repeated a couple of times under Carina's watchful eye. Carina stood there watching the blonde's face as she mumbled in her sleep, a small tear ran down her cheek and her heart fluttered at the sight of Maya so vulnerable. She slowly approached and with her thumb wiped the tear from her cheek, careful not to wake the finally sleeping blonde she continued to gently caress her cheek, when she noticed that Maya had calmed down a little she whispered in her ear – Andrà tutto bene Maya (Everything is going to be alright Maya). And she withdrew to his room.

Carina was lying on her comfortable bed and a myriad of questions were going around in her head. Who the hell was Mason and why did Maya seem so worried about him? Is this Mason the reason why she's acting so strange? What if Mason is someone who wants to hurt her and that's why she's scared all the time? Maybe Mason is a guy she used to date and now she misses him and that's why she's in a funk? A knock on the front door brought her out of her thoughts and she rushed up to answer it hoping the noise hadn't woken Maya.

- Are you here already? Maya asked a little agitated when she saw Carina leaving the room.

- Yes, I arrived a while ago and I didn't want to wake you up. Carina replied with a smile. – But I see you're already awake.

- Yeah, I can't believe I fell asleep. Maya whispered to herself, but Carina could hear her and noticed how upset she was with herself for falling asleep. – I think I heard a noise at the door. She added without looking Carina in the eye.

- Oh yes, someone knocked that's why I came out, to open the door. Said Carina as she continued on her way to the door.

Maya's eyes widened and her face paled when she heard Carina, she quickly ran to where the Italian woman was and grabbed her arm stopping her completely. – No, please don't open the door. Maya begged without letting go of Carina.

- Calm down Maya, maybe it's Andrew or one of your friends. Said Carina, confused with the blonde's attitude.

- No, Andrew has a key and I haven't invited anyone to come. Maya said quickly. Again they heard a knock on the door, this time with more insistence and Maya jumped, clinging more to Carina's arm.

- We have to see who it is, maybe it's the neighbor or the doorman who needs something. Carina said.

- No, no, no, no, please Carina, let them think there is no one and leave, please. Maya pleaded again.

Carina noticed how Maya's breathing became agitated and she started pacing back and forth, as if she was about to have a panic attack.

- It's okay, it's okay, you need to breathe. Said Carina grabbing her shoulders, causing their gazes to cross. – Breathe Maya. Eyes on me, eyes only on me, breathe. Carina repeated a couple of times, getting the blonde to comply with her instructions and gradually calm down. – Do you hear that? Carina asked seconds later, Maya just shook her head. – Exactly, you can't hear anything, no one is at the door Maya, everything is fine, no one is going to hurt you. Said Carina while caressing her back. Maya nodded shyly and clung to Carina resting her head on her chest, while wrapping her arms around her waist.

They stayed in the same position for several minutes, Maya hugging Carina while Carina stroked her back to calm her down. Neither of them said a word, enjoying how good it felt to be this close to each other. Maya felt safe in Carina's arms, they were like a refuge where nothing and no one could hurt her. But as always her insecurities came to the surface and she couldn't let anyone think that she was a fragile person, someone weak and vulnerable. Without a second thought, she walked away from Carina turned around and went to her room, without saying a word. Carina remained in the same position, watching the blonde walk away, leaving her more confused than ever.