Lambs for Slaughter Part 2

Chapter 4

They didn't come up for air again until Dean's stomach growled the next morning. He huffed out a laugh against Cas' bare chest, humming when the angel tightened his hold on his waist and ran fingers through his disheveled hair. "Hungry?"

"Still human," he agreed, looking up at his boyfriend through long lashes. "Think I could convince you to make me a sandwich?"

The corners of Cas' chapped lips twitched upwards. "I think that can be arranged." With a flutter of wings, the angel disappeared and Dean forced himself to sit up and lean against the wooden headboard. He looked around the room, the tips of his ears heating up as he saw both his and Cas' clothes strewn about from their rush to get into bed last night. Besides the space in Dean's closet, Cas had started adding a few of his own personal touches since they'd officially gotten together a few months ago. Small things that Dean hadn't had the heart to get rid of when he thought Cas left him. The stack of mixed tapes Dean made for him by the computer. A koala stuffed animal Claire had gotten him sitting on the nightstand. A set of cowboy movies he wanted to watch with Dean waiting by the television.

Now that Cas was back, the items felt warm and welcoming rather than mocking. Dean shook his head and pushed off the bed, throwing on the closest pair of boxers, which happened to be Cas', and stumbled into the bathroom. Once he relieved himself and brushed his teeth, Dean opened the door to see his angel waiting for him on the bed with a plate of two sandwiches and a serving of chips. "That's what I'm talking about! Thanks Cas."

Cas gave him a small smile, moving over so that Dean could get to the food. His expression was more pinched than earlier, which meant that he would want to talk about what happened. Dean wasn't exactly the poster boy for discussing his feelings, but after finding Hotch again and getting together with Cas, he begrudgingly accepted that communication was important in any relationship, platonic or romantic. After he finished eating, he wiped his mouth on the provided napkin and turned his full attention to the angel.

"Dean..." Cas started, then paused. He took Dean's hand and his chin dropped down to his chest. "I'm so sorry, for so many things."

Dean swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat, but kept quiet. He knew his boyfriend well enough to understand that Cas needed to get this out, no matter how uncomfortable Dean might feel.

"I'm sorry for leaving you and Sam without a word or an explanation. I knew you wouldn't approve of my plan to get rid of the Mark, but I couldn't let that stop me."

"What did you do?"

Cas squeezed his hand again, still not looking him in the eye. "I was working with Crowley and Rowena."

Dean sucked in a sharp intake of breath. What the fuck. "Cas-"

"I know," Cas cut him off with a shake of his head. "I know it was stupid. But you were hurting, Dean. You were in so much pain." He gritted out through clenched teeth. "It was killing me to see you like that. We were running out of options, and it was the only thing I could think of to help you."

When he finally brought his gaze up to meet Dean's, there was a faint shine to them. "I swore to you that I would find a way to break this curse, to get rid of the Mark. To save you. But it seems like the only thing I managed to do was isolate you. And if that wasn't enough, my actions freed The Darkness. I'm so, so sorry Dean."

Cas sounded so ashamed as he clung to Dean's hand, begging for forgiveness. Dean pulled the angel in for a hug, throwing his arms around Cas' shoulders and burying his face in the crook of the angel's neck. "I forgive you, Cas. I swear I do." He didn't pull back as he continued, lips pressed against Cas' pale, heated skin. "I understand why you did it, even though I hate the thought of you in that situation. I know you would never hurt me intentionally. I just -"