The Bucket List (A REVERSE HAREM ROMANCE)

22. ALBANY

I had twenty-seven days to remove my things from the shop.

On the third day, I managed to get myself out of bed and forced myself to eat something.

There were a lot of other things that needed to be done. Like sorting through Crystal's things. Her condo needed to be cleared so it could be sold like she wanted.

I took a cab to her condo around ten and stayed there sorting through the things in the garage until dark. Even then I knew that I needed to head back home but I couldn't bring myself to leave. I also didn't have the courage to head into the condo.

Crystal had wanted all her clothes donated to homeless shelters and all her other things auctioned off and the money made to be donated to a few charities of her choice. She had told me to take anything I wanted.

The next day I pushed all the pain aside and stepped into the condo. Boxes littered the long dining room table. It was something Crystal and I had started collecting a few weeks after. . . I swallowed, grabbed a few boxes and headed into her bedroom.

Setting the boxes down on the bed, I walked over to her closet and pulled it open. Crystal loved clothes as much as she loved eating. Her closet was filled with clothes she never wore but bought because she couldn't pass up a sale.

A lump filled my throat as I started folding the clothes and packing them into the boxes. Her smell still lingered on some of them and it made the ache so much worse. Tears burned my eyes but I refused to let them fall.

Halfway through the clothes I was forced to leave because I couldn't handle it anymore. I took a cab back to my apartment but instead of entering the building, I made my way over to the bakery.

Unlocking the door, I stepped into the empty shop and glanced around. Everything was as I left it when I left with Steven. I sucked in a breath and slowly blew it out. My shoulders sagged. The smell of freshly baked goods didn't linger in the air like it usually would.

There were no words that could describe how I felt at the moment. My dreams, my aspirations, were all being drowned by the weight of my stupid mistakes.

I walked into the kitchen and stared at the mess. For a few minutes I was frozen in place and then I moved.

After cleaning every inch of the kitchen, I pulled my phone from my pocket and took photos of the ovens and steel tables—the pots, pans and cutlery; everything that could be sold.

There was no use keeping them and storing them somewhere because the chances of me ever using them again were slim. Just as I was taking the last photo, the bell above the door rang, announcing a visitor.

I pushed my phone into my pocket and walked out of the kitchen.

"Hi."

I managed a small smile. "Hi."

For a few minutes we stood staring at each other before he turned away to look around.

"Do you have any idea how many times I stood outside, staring through the window, hoping to get a glimpse of you," he muttered.

"Why didn't you ever come in?" I asked him.

He shrugged and turned to face me again. "I never had the guts to approach you. Crystal talked about you a lot and it made me. . .feel like you were out of my league."

"That's hard to believe," I scoffed.

He gave me a small smile and pushed his hands into his pockets as he took a step closer. His eyes darted over my face and then slowly dropped to trail over my body.

"We're worried about you."

My eyes dropped. "Nothing to be worried about. I'm fine."

Spinning on my heels, I entered the kitchen again just to get away from him. The intensity with which he watched me made butterflies fill my stomach.

"Where have you been?"

I shrugged. "Around."

"Albany—"

"I had things to take care of, okay?"

I pulled my phone from my pocket and moved the things around a bit before I took a few steps back to take a picture. My body jerked in fright when he gripped my arm and spun me around.

"What do—?"

"Where were you yesterday?" he asked.

"It's none of your business," I hissed. "What I do—"

My words died down in a gasp when he grabbed my other arm and pulled me against him. The air was knocked from my lungs when my body slammed into his. He leaned down and narrowed his eyes.

"You disappeared without a trace for almost twenty-four hours and we couldn't get a hold of you." He leaned closer. "What if something had happened to you? What if you'd been kidnapped or were involved in an accident? What if—"

"It's none of you fucking business."

"It is my business," he yelled. "You became my business the moment you stepped foot into my life."

"Let go of me." I struggled in his hold but he didn't let me go. "I said let go of me."

Kieran suddenly smiled. "There it is."

His voice lowered and his eyes softened. Kieran's hands slid up my arms and cupped my cheeks.

"For a moment I feared that the fire inside you had been doused."

My brows dipped into a frown as confusion filled me. Kieran rubbed his finger along my jaw and dropped his forehead against mine. He sighed and squeezed his eyes closed.

"I've seen so many photos of Crystal and you together over the years," he whispered. "That night you joined us for drinks, I noticed the change in you."

"Kieran—"

"I couldn't put my finger on it. Something was different and I couldn't figure out what, but I know now." Kieran opened his eyes and stared down at me. "There's no fire in your eyes, Albany. In those pictures, it burned brightly. It was hard to miss it and now it's gone."

I pressed my hands to his chest and pushed but he didn't budge. "I just buried my best friend. Of course there's no fire inside me."

"Let it out," he ordered.

"Stop."

"Cry and scream. You haven't mourned her like you need to. You're burying your feelings and using everything around you to keep your mind from wonder to her."

"Stop!"

I struggled in his hold and managed to break free. Just for good measure, I pushed him again which ended up being a bad idea. Kieran grabbed my arm and spun me around so my back was to his front. He wrapped both arms around my waist and held me close.

Screaming and trashing in his hold only made him hold me closer.

Tears burned my eyes. "Let me go you bastard."

"Let it out."

I threw my leg back but made contact with nothing. Kieran picked me up and moved. A second later he had turned me around in his arms again.

"I know that—"

"Shut up!" I yelled. "You don't know anything."

"You think so?" Kieran let me go so abruptly that I stumbled backwards. "I know exactly what you're feeling right now. I've been through this. Bottling it up isn't going to do you any good."

"Leave me alone."

Kieran stared at me silently for a few seconds. "Come with me."

"N—"

"I want to show you something."

My eyes dropped to the hand he held out and then back up to his face. He gave me a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"You have two seconds to make up your mind or I'm throwing you over my shoulder and carrying you to my car kicking and screaming."