Bittersweet

~~ Stupid Is, As Stupid Does ~~

"Gabe, we don't even live together."

"I want us to. I think about us all the time. I want it all."

"What does that even mean?" She threw her hands in the air.

"It means I want you, Ava. This family. I want us to be together... get married."

Her jaw dropped; eyes widened. "Are you asking me to marry you?"

"Yes, no... maybe. But if I'm being completely honest. Then yeah, I see us getting married. Don't you?"

Her silence slapped me in the face. "I guess you don't see that for us."

"This is a lot to take in, Gabe. A lot."

"I realise that. But I know what I want."

"And you want to adopt her son?" her tone was clipped.

"I don't know." I sighed, running my hand across my forehead. "I know I love you." It wasn't the best way to confess my feelings for the first time.

"Tell me Gabe. What if I'm not on board with you adopting her son—what then?"

"Then I won't do it."

"Jesus, Gabe! You can't put all this on me. If I say no, I'm removing the opportunity of you having your own child." She shook her head. "You need to decide this on your own. You need to know what you want. I can't make this decision. I won't make this decision!"

She stood up. "I have to get ready. I'm opening the shop. It's Frank's day off."

Shit, I didn't want to end the conversation like this. "Do you want me to come with you, help? I'm free today."

She shook her head. "No, I think it's best if we both take some time to think about all this. I need some space."

Fuck! "You want a break... from me? Us?"

"No, I'm just saying I need to think. And so do you." She walked away.

Jesus Christ!

~ ~

I headed to the hospital... alone. My head was spinning, but Jenna was right. It was stupid to think she would be on board—hell; I didn't even know if I was on board.

I found Al in her room. Her son was in his cot, whilst she lay in bed, facing away from him.

"Hey."

She turned. "Gabe, I wasn't sure if you were going to come back."

"Yeah, well, you dropped a huge bomb last night."

"I guess, yeah."

I walked towards the cot; he was asleep. "I don't understand why you want to give him away. Look at him Al, he needs his mother. And you're his mother."

"He needs a father too."

"Have you considered reaching out to the father? When he sees him, he may want to be part of his life."

She shook her head. "He's not the type of man anyone would want for a father—trust me."

"But he was good enough for you to sleep with?" The words left my mouth without thinking.

"Don't you dare judge me, Gabe. I was in a bad place."

"I'm not judging Al."

She huffed. "I'm guessing you don't want to adopt him then. Has she said something?"