Pansy: A Chandlmara & Mcnamawyer Fanfiction (Heathers The Musical)

Chapter Six: Hell on Wheels

Veronica and I found out about a cute little outlet mall and decided to spend time there. We get there by bus because Veronica can't drive either. It's nice to get air. We don't get those shoes I joked about earlier, but we do walk around and admire the things in the stores. I get us chili fries from a random food stand and we sit at a nearby table.

"Heaven Is a Place on Earth" by Belinda Carlisle played in the background. I notice Veronica sightly moving her shoulder to the beat. "You know," she said to me, "I can't drive you to school like Heather used to, but I'd be happy to go on the bus, or walk with you—your call."

I giggle, "That's so nice! I'd prefer to walk."

"Alright."

As she begins to eat again my fingers tap on the white round table. "I... I wanted to say I'm sorry..."

Veronica looked up from her food. "For what...?"

"For putting you through it," I say. "I helped make you write that fake letter to Martha. I embarrassed her at Ram's party. I didn't defend you when Heather was bashing you. Or when Kurt and Ram were making up lies. And all because of my tendency to be terribly yellow-bellied. I've been a pretty crummy friend..."

Veronica bit her lip and my stomach panged. "Me too... I've been blowing you and Heather off. There's some... other stuff too... I guess. I'd forgotten about most of the stuff you mentioned anyway. I'm sorry..."

I shrug. "Forgiven. Completely. I blamed myself for all that anyway—I was never mad." I put a few fries in my mouth.

"Oh..." Veronica gave a dazed look of bewilderment. "That's it...?"

I swallow after a few seconds and blink at her. "Yeah...?"

"No getting on my knees and begging?"

I giggle. "That was more Heather's game, not mine."

"Heh... yeah..."

My eyes look around and I catch a guy and a girl holding hands. "So... how are you and JD?" I mumble.

"A—oh..." She stuttered, then looks down at the chili fries, playing with them with her fork. "Fine—just... I've got no control over myself when I'm with JD..."

"Isn't that a good thing?" I ask.

"Not always." She continues not to look up at me. Has JD done something to her? If so, how could he? How do you love someone and harm them on purpose with no guilt?

"Well if he ever gets too jaded you can just throw that trenchcoat over his head and he'll fall asleep."

Veronica met my eyes, tilted her head, and gave a deep, hardy, shaky giggle. "Eh, he never takes it off, I can't."

I think back to what I said and laugh at myself. It's been no secret that I've missed her, but I didn't realize how much I did till I had her back.

"And... about what Heather said," Veronica added, "What she said wasn't cool. You don't need to... 'hop in your little lifeboat and catch a gnarly wave over to Remington' at all. You're one of the only tolerable people at that Thunderdome."

"And you don't need to transfer schools either. And Heather didn't 'raise you up from nothing'. You've... probably never been 'nothing'..." I feel my face heat up as I speak.

"Ooh—that's really sweet. But you never noticed me till last September..."

I can't tell if that's off-handed or if she means it. "Well—I never noticed anyone. If I weren't a Heather—or if the Heathers were different I probably would've."