Suicidal Ideation『Depressed Todoroki』

#4 | I'll Be Here Until You're Okay

"Yeah, whatever. What are you even doing here? Waiting for the door to magically open by itself?" He asked, accusingly.

Shouto didn't respond, instead, walking in, and heading towards the sink.

"DON'T IGNORE ME! YOU DAMNED ICYHOT!" Bakugou was about to go give Shouto a piece of his mind before,

"BAKUBRO! Come on! Class starts in 30 minutes!" A certain redhead said.

Bakugou left, but not before glaring daggers at Shouto.

『✰❦✰』

Shouto sat, barely listening to what Aizawa-Sensei was saying. He had realized something odd.

Present Mic had been sending occasional glances at him, throughout his entire class. It made Shouto feel uneasy. 'Did I do something wrong? Am I in trouble? Oh no, were they gonna tell father? What would he do? He would probably be mad. Right?' It didn't really matter if it were small. He would probably take any excuse to beat the ever-loving shit out of Shouto. Not that he usually needed an excuse.

"-Roki. Todoroki?" He heard Aizawa-Sensei say. He only then realized all eyes were on him.

He then felt it. The ice creeping up the side of his face. His eyes widened. He quickly melted the ice, and responded, "Sorry, you can continue." He tried to keep it as monotone as possible, but if you listened closely you could hear the embarrassment in his sentence.

It took a while before all eyes had gone back up to the board, but occasionally, he would feel a glance from one of his classmates.

The bell rung.

"Everyone get out. Todoroki, may I have a talk with you?"

People started leaving the classroom. He guesses there were multiple people looking at him, but he only saw the concerned glance from Midoriya before everyone had left the classroom. He walked up to the front of the room.

"So, I have to first ask, what was that about?" Aizawa started, raising an eyebrow suspiciously.

"It's a habit." He said, not offering any other explanation.

"A habit you say. How would icing off your face become a habit?"

"Is there any other reason for this meeting? Or did you just call me up here to question certain habits I have made throughout my childhood?" He hadn't meant to sound harsh, but he was becoming increasingly uncomfortable. He wanted this to be over as soon as possible.

Aizawa paused, probably surprised by the quick voice change. He recovered almost instantly, and continued, "Yes. Yesterday, you were out after curfew,"

Shouto froze. He thought that was over with.

"I'm not necessarily mad about that, more about the condition you came back in. I noticed you favoring your left side, and changing your right arm's position frequently."

When Shouto's eyes widened, Aizawa knew he had been right.

"Todoroki. You know that you can talk to me, right? I'm always here." Aizawa said, concern filling his voice.

Shouto didn't know what to say.

'Really? Do you really believe that? Anyone who has ever said they will help you never did shit. They won't believe a 16-year-old.'

"Todoroki. Look at me"

Shouto slowly moved his head, his eyes meeting his teacher's.

"Is there anything wrong? Anything you want to talk to me about?"

Was there really anything wrong? It's just training. He can handle it. If he couldn't, then what would that say about him? Anyone would kill to have the Number #2 Hero train them. It wasn't wrong. Then why did he feel this way? Why did he feel he was constantly drowning in guilt and misery? He should be thrilled that his father is training him, helping him become stronger. But he hates it. He hates being forced to endure all this pain, having to face severe punishments when his father deemed it necessary. He knew that his father threatening Fuyumi wasn't okay. She was a civilian. But what his father was doing to him, was it actually wrong? No, it wasn't. It wasn't...right?

"No. There's nothing I need to talk to you about. I'm fine." It didn't matter whether it was wrong or right. Aizawa-Sensei wouldn't believe him anyway. And if he did, he would think Shouto was being ungrateful. That he should be happy his father is even training him at all.

Aizawa looked hesitant, before he finally sighed, "Alright then. You may go to lunch now. But remember you can always talk to me." His voice sounded as it usually did, with no emotion, but if you listened carefully you could hear the sincerity in his voice.

Shouto didn't waste any time. He practically sprinted out of the room.

He made his way towards the cafeteria, before stopping. He decided to skip lunch today. He headed to the roof of the school, and just sat there, with his headphones in, listening to music.

Of course he was fine. It was just training after all. There was nothing wrong with what his father was doing to him. That should be easy to understand but it didn't feel that way. He didn't feel fine. He felt the exact opposite. He hated it. He hated training. He hated his father. But most importantly,

He hated himself.

Words: 2188

The title is based on the song "Talk To Me" by Cavetown.

I have some idea of where this story is going, I planned out the ending and everything. I also have the next chapter set in my mind, but sometimes I just change everything I already decided on. This chapter is WAY and I mean way different than what It was supposed to be, but I'm pretty proud of this version. 

Did I finish this story instead of working on my assignment that is due tomorrow? 

Yes. 

Do I regret it? 

No.

I forgot to say this last chapter but...

Have an amazing Morning/Afternoon/Night!

I love you all byeee!

✰__startover✰