Suicidal Ideation『Depressed Todoroki』

#4 | I'll Be Here Until You're Okay

Aizawa sighed, he made his way over to the couch and plopped down. Yamada followed him closely and sat down next to him. He patiently waited for his husband to start.

"It's Todoroki." Aizawa started.

"What about him?"

"He was caught out after curfew. Normally it wouldn't be so weird, after all, they all are just problem children." Aizawa sighed, thinking of all the times he had to scold them.

Yamada chuckled at that.

"But it was something else. He had seemed almost...afraid? I'm not sure how to put it. It was as if he was prepared for me to yell or hit him. Or at the very least, expel him."

Yamada didn't say anything, but he gave him all of his attention.

"He seemed relieved, way too relieved when nothing happened and I just let him go. There's definitely something wrong." He moved his hand to rub at his temple. He was way too tired for this.

"What do you think it is?" Yamada asked, interested in what his husband's ideas were.

"I'm not sure. To be honest, he seemed injured at the time. He would make a face whenever he moved his arm in the wrong way. Or even when he put too much pressure on his right side. He definitely seemed like he was hiding Injuries, although he didn't do a great job at that. I'm not sure what's wrong with him, but we should probably pay close attention."

"Ok, I'll make sure to watch him like a hawk," Yamada stated, putting his hand to his heart.

"You idiot. Don't stalk him. And don't make it obvious too, but knowing you, that's probably impossible." Aizawa proclaimed.

"HEY! I'm not that bad! I can be sneaky if I want to!" Yamada fought back, "That hurt y'know!" he said, wiping an invisible tear from his eye.

"Yeah, yeah," Aizawa said sarcastically. They sat together in silence before deciding on getting some sleep.

『✰❦✰』

Shouto woke up the next day feeling exhausted. It took him 15 minutes to get out of bed, not to mention the 10 minutes it took for him to stop staring at his wall when he did leave his bed. His body felt sluggish, and his head was filled with fog. He wanted to so bad curl back up in his blankets and cry until he just withered away. But he couldn't. He couldn't when there wasn't anyone left to cry for. It'd be selfish to cry for himself, but he had been doing that a lot lately. Still, he can't miss school. So he powered through it, even when the voice In his head said otherwise.

'You really think it's worth all the trouble? It doesn't really matter what you do, you always fail.'

He knows. Shouto knows he only fails. He doesn't need it on a constant loop in his head. Sometimes it was getting harder to realize the voice in his head was just that: a voice. It seemed so real. Shaming his every move, as if just him existing is his fault. 

Nothing seems worth living for anymore. There wasn't a single person that made him feel as though his life meant something. Sure, his mom was important to him, and so was Midoriya but that was it. He knew, if he were to die, they would be upset; but eventually, they'd get over it. Just like everybody else would. It not only benefited everyone but him too. For once, it was something he and the voice could agree on.

Before Shouto even realized, he had made it to the washroom. 'Huh, that's weird. I don't even remember leaving my room...' He stood outside the washroom, trying to remember where his memory went blank.

"OI ICYHOT! MOVE THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY, I'M TRYING TO GET THROUGH" An angry blond yelled.

"My apologies, Bakugou." Shouto says, bowing a little.