Luke's P.O.V
After spending most of the day with Ella, I decided it was best to go home. I haven't really cried in front of anyone in a few years so I didn't really know what to do when I was almost sobbing in front of her, she didn't seem freaked out or anything; but you don't have to be an amazing actor to trick someone who's hysterically crying about not knowing when he's doing stuff, bad stuff.
She must think I'm weak, but after what I did to her, I'm surprised she even let me sit near her. God, I should be punched in the face for what I did. How could I do that to her? And why can't I fucking remember it? Sometimes, when I close my eyes for long enough, I see her face. Not in the way you'd want to though. The face she had on while she ran away from me. She had to run away from me. Lock herself in her fucking room to get away from the monster I turned into. I wanted to kiss her when she was rubbing circles into my back, I'd never realized how much I like when people do that, or maybe it was just because it was Ella who was doing it.
As much as I've been trying to figure out what's wrong with me, I don't think I want to know. Maybe I just forget things sometimes? Yeah, that's it. I forget things, just like everyone else does. Normal people forget their wallets at home, but you forget when you're trying to take advantage of Ella. Fuck, am I crazy? No, I can't be. Can I?
I've never seen someone's eyes filled with as much terror than her's last night, the way her voice cracked when she yelled at me through the door. How the hell am I suppose to forget that?
I drove myself home, maybe not the best idea since I'd consider myself "emotionally distraught" and "distracted", but whatever, I got home and nobody died in the process.
For a change, it was actually cloudy outside. I liked when it was cloudy. I liked how the sun didn't come out, how the clouds created this barrier for me. I liked when it would start to mist, then start pouring all at once.
I parked my car in the drive way, not caring if it was left out in the rain for once. Fuck, it looks like someone's home. Can I not get one day of peace?
I trudged up the walk way to my house, opening the unlocked door. I took off my shoes and tried to make my way to my room unnoticed. I was one door away from my room when Ben came out of his door, immediately spotting me and pushing me up against the hallway wall.
"Lukey, there you are. Nice to see you, little brother," he said sarcastically, shoving me into the wall harder with every pause.
"Get off me, asshole." I tried to struggle against him and stand my ground, but he was stronger than me.
"You might be 6'4, but you're weak as always," he laughed, finally releasing his grip on me.
"Fuck off, when did you get to be such a jerk?" I asked him honestly, we used to be so close.
"I'm just kidding with you, Lukey. You seem stressed, this should help." He smirked, handing me a small plastic bag with the green crumbly looking substance in it that I used to crave so much.
"Oh, I-uh..." I stuttered, eventually slipping past him, slumping my shoulders and making my way back to my room. I kicked the door closed, making sure to lock it. I took off my clothes and just laid down in my blue plaid boxers.
I closed my eyes, and that's when some of it came back.
"Luke," she moaned into my mouth. Jesus Christ, this girl is really getting into this. I turned us around so she was the one against the car.
"Oh-" I stopped myself, about to say her name back to her. Fuck, I didn't even know this girl's god damn name and I was already making out with her. I couldn't even say her name while she ran her fingers through my hair.
