𝟑𝟎 𝐃𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐥

~~ 67. ~~

"He made us feel like nothing. Like our mere existence irks him so much. I even began to doubt myself and my mother. I feel like my mother was lying to me that he wasn't my father. I thought she was looking for a man who was going to be my father since I don't have one and I wanted one. And for a while, I disliked my mother." He looked at her again for a second, so she could know the gravity of those words to him.

But she already does. She understands what it did to him. And also knew that it was enough for him to hold grudge against him.

"That was what his words did to me. I even doubted he was my father. But one thing my mother never did was lie to me. It may take longer for her to tell me things but she doesn't know how to hide things from me. So that was the only thing that convinced me that he was the man who birthed me."

"It was so hard to see that my own father doesn't even have an ounce of feelings for me. All my life, I always dreamed of a father. I looked at my neighbors, my friends at school, and my classmates, and seeing them with their fathers always made me sad. I asked my mother a lot of times about my father. She never told me about him. But the day she finally told me that I will meet him soon, I was the happiest child on earth. I looked forward to it. I told my friends at school. I was finally going to have a father. I was going to be happy and my mom will be happy and she will stop suffering. But I don't know that I was just hoping in vain. It was pointless." He chuckled humorlessly. He pinched his nose a little, then he sniffled.

"I don't know if I should call my mother stupid... Because I don't know how she could still love that man after that day. Imagine... she didn't give up." His voice held disbelief despite he wasn't just knowing about it. "She continued working in that house and at every chance she could, she always tried to prove that I was his son. And his legal wife got to know about it but like the bastard he was, he denied her again. Many nights, I will watch my mother return exhausted, drained, and hurt. Pretending to be strong but she will still cry herself to sleep calling his name. I couldn't help but ask why she kept going back. She would say that she loves him even if he might not love her and that I couldn't understand. I was too young to. I tried to understand her for a long time until I couldn't anymore. Then she would claim that she wanted him to take responsibility for me. She hated that I was suffering when I had a father who could provide everything. She tried to involve her parents but the Ninalowos were powerful people and what say do they have? Who was going to believe them?" He asked rhetorically.

"But she didn't give up until she was framed for stealing. Lawrence's wife framed her for stealing. I don't know if it was because she find out about her husband's past relationship with Mom or because she sensed something was up with Mom. Then I noticed how she would look at me whenever I go with Mom to her workplace. But I was young then. I don't know what she had in mind. So she wanted to sue Mom for stealing her pieces of jewelry. She was determined to send her to prison. And that was when my grandparents intervene. But no one was ready to listen to a couple of paupers. They thought they needed money. But Grams won't let them take her daughter to prison for what she didn't do. And she threatened to make everything known. Him, having an illegitimate son. I guess... they were afraid of the scandal that it will cost, so his family decided to let go of the charges and he told us not to return to their lives. And it was then he told her that what they had was just a result of betting. He made a bet. And she was just a pawn in a game of bets. Imagine that." He sneered. And he laughed painfully. It was clear he was hurting. "He played a woman's heart for a bet. And there she was hoping and thinking he felt something for her. But it was all for a bet."

"And that day, I knew something left my mother. She never was that hopeful mother that I know. Something changed in her. She became colder and more secretive. She doesn't even trust easily. Nothing ever moved her. She became so cold and she hardly smile. I watched her withdraw and the permanent hurt and pain were on her face. She struggled to take care of me alone and she didn't mention Lawrence again. I had the toughest time of my life after then."