My Boyfriend - Harry Styles

Chapter 4

The butterflies in my stomach are now turning into wasps, hurting me. I hope they don't think I'm here to get back with Harry. That is NOT happening. A friendship maybe, but not a relationship. I smile at them both, "Do you think Harry still likes me?"

"I bet if he could swap Frankie for you he would do it in a flash!" Hannah says, coming to hug me again.

"No, I mean as a friend. I don't want to get back with him, I just wanted to make sure he doesn't hate me, that's all." I reply stepping away from the hug and breathing deeply. "Right, you two go on. I'll be out in a minute. And remember, don't tell Haz.." Fuck, "I mean Harry, okay?"

Louis notices my slip up and smirks, "You do still like him, don't you?" 

"No Louis." I state seriously. They leave and I quickly calm myself down before making my way out the door. 

"Jess, these are the questions you need to ask the boys, okay? Let me know when your done." Lucie says, passing me a file block with plenty of questions scribbled down.

I make my way to the sofa and take a deep breath before sitting down. A few moments later Louis jumps onto the opposite sofa and winks knowingly. I smile back, trying to overcome my nerves.

"Right! Let's get started!" Harry says, sitting down beside Louis along with the rest of the boys.

Oh God. He looks different, better I mean. His hair is a lot longer but it suits him so well. His curls have loosened, they're no longer tight ringlets framing his cute face. His features are much more defned than I remember. God I hope he hasn't had any surgury to look this good... No of course he wouldn't, I always knew Harry was going to ten times more goodlooking as he grew up.

I notice them staring at me expectantly, startling myself. Here I am analysing his facial features. Pull yourself together Jess! I try to speak but nothing comes up. Speak Jess, speak! "Emmmm. Right. Question 1." I look down at the page and read the first question into myself before saying it aloud. Oh my God.

Where was your first kiss and who was it with? I can't skip it though, Lucie would have my head on a stick if I did! Right I'll ask it and hope Louis helps me out with distractions or something.

"Where was your first kiss and who was it with?" I look at Harry immediately hoping he doesn't respond first. 

A smile spreads onto his face, oh God no. "You go first Harry." Louis says.

Thanks Louis. Great work. "Well my first kiss was with a girl called Jess and it was after one of my friends parties. I was about, fifteen." He replies.

My mouth falls open a little but I quickly shut it. He said my name, he's looking right me and he doesn't even know it. The memory of that kiss floods into my mind and I remember how amazing it felt the first time he held my hand.

"Aren't you going to write it down Haley?" Harry asks looking at me, raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah Haley?!" Louis exclaims with a look that says 'Go along with it!'

He must have told Harry my name was Haley. Oh Louis, thank you! "Oh right! Yes, writing it down!" I fake laugh.

"Wait a minute." Zayn says, causing the butterflies in my stomach to make another appearance.

 I slowly look up from my file block to see Zayn staring at me. "You need a pen!" He laughs.

That was so close. I thought he noticed! Harry passes me a pen from behind him. I grab it and accidently touch his hand as I do. I look up to see no reaction from him. Thank goodness. I hope it stays this way so I can go home and continue my life the way I was doing: Harry free.

"So did you like this first kiss Harry?" Louis asks him.

Typical Louis, always teasing. "Yeah it was pretty good. One of the best actually." He beams at Louis. I can't help but blush.

"I can't hold it in any longer!" Louis exclaims. No Louis please! I dart him a pleading look.

"Go to the toilet then!" Harry laughs.

"Not that you twat! It's Jess!"

"What?!"

I look up to see Harry speechless, his eyes wide and full of uncertainty. "Hi Harry." I say shakily. "Thanks Louis, you're a pal." I say glaring at him.

He gives me an apologetic look but it's soon replaced with a smirk when he sees Harry's confused yet ridicously happy face. "Wait, you're Jess? My Jess?" He finally asks with a confused look.

My heart stings at the the use of his phrase My Jess. I can't go through this again. Maybe a friendship with him wouldn't work after all.

"I knew it!" Niall exclaims, getting up to hug me, "You've changed a bit but I definitely knew it was you."

He stands to hug me and I hug him back. "Good to know you haven't forgotten me." I reply, hugging him tight.

Harry starts rubbing the back of his head, looking a bit shy and confused.

"Jess! My sista' from anotha' mista'!" Zayn exclaims joining in the hug.

"Jess! Oh my god! It is you!" Liam squeals as he wraps his arms around me, Niall and Zayn. Okay, here come the tears.

"Oh guys, I've missed you so much!" I sob.

"Awk Jess!" Louis laughs, joining in the hug.

All that's left is Harry, who was still staring at me. "Why did you leave then? Why didn't you call or get in touch? If you missed them so much why didn't you do anything?" He blurts out suddenly. The boys back off, "We're going give you two some time to talk." Great.

"I didn't leave just out of the blue. We didn't work out. We both left each other."

"I still loved you though."

I stare at him sadly. I knew he still loved me when we split, but the fact that he's making out as if it was my fault is just wrong.

"Are you saying I'm to blame for our break up?" I ask raising my eyebrows and drying my tears.

"No. I'm just saying, if you missed us why didn't you come back or even keep in touch?"

"I missed them, and it's complicated." I immediately regret my choice of words, knowing that they will hurt Harry.

"It always is with you." He quickly remarks, getting up to leave.

"Don't start Harry."

"I wasn't going to."

He storms out of the room, leaving me to regret what I said. Why can't we just discuss things without taking hits at each other? Here come the tears again. I can't go through this again. I've just about got my heart back together again, I'm not going to stick around to watch it break again.

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