Melting You Softly (Student Series #1)

Chapter 32

Pinasadahan ko sila ng tingin. Napagkasunduan nilang sa susunod na nga lang iinom kaya nakahinga ako nang maluwag.

Papa was still giving me the cold shoulder as though I was a ghost that he could feel but couldn't see. I'd probably lose my marbles if we stayed like this for the next few days. Bawal bang next year na lang siya magalit at huwag ngayong magpa-pasko at Bagong Taon?

Sinusubukan ko naman siyang kausapin at magpaliwanag pa. I don't often apologize to anyone, even to my parents, simply because I don't have any reason to. Ayaw ko kasi ng sorry ako nang sorry kaya hangga't maaari, hindi na lang ako gagawa o magsasalita ng posibleng makasakit o makagalit sa ibang tao.

But now, I use it as frequent as I wear my school uniform. Madaling sabihin para sa ibang nagkasala ang salitang ito pero hindi lahat ng tatanggap nito ay kayang tanggapin agad. Walang saysay ang salitang patawad kung uulitin lang din naman o hindi kaya'y hindi naman nakikitaan ng pagsisisi ang taong nagsasabi nito.

Maybe that's what I lack. For now, I can't show him that I'm being regretful and prove to him that I would stop using that.

Thinking that he might completely lose his trust in me ached my heart. Ayaw kong magkalamat ang relasyon namin pero ano ba itong ginawa ko?

Am I really regretful for what I did? Am I really going to stop using that? Can I do that?

I can... pero paano kung mapipilitan na naman ako?

"Galit si P-Papa sa akin, Axe," I said over our video call using my laptop. "Hindi niya ako pinapansin."

A sob I attempted to keep broke from my lips. Agad kong tinakpan ang bibig at tumingala para kumurap nang mabilis at hindi tuluyang malaglag ang luha sa pisngi.

I'm so upset with myself. Ayaw ko sanang magsabi sa kahit kanino pero nahihirapan din akong sarilihin.

"Izzy," he called, using his gentle voice marked with worry. "Pupuntahan kita."

Umiling ako sa kanya at tumawa. He sounded determined that he didn't even bother to ask if I would want him to go here.

"A-ano ka ba! Ba't ka pupunta, e, gabi na? May pasok ka pa bukas—"

"I want to see you," he cut me off with a relentless face.

"Bukas na lang..." Sabay iling ko.

Umiling din siya habang ang manipis na labi ay mariing nakatikom at mapupungay ang mata. Halata naman sa kanyang inaantok na, e. He just made time for us to talk through this medium. He always does. Siya ang madalas nag-i-initiate bago matulog.

"Bukas na nga lang, Axe," sabi ko ulit sa nanghihinang tinig.

The truth is, I want to see him, too. But I don't want my desire to personally see him jeopardize his safety while he's on his way here. Gabing-gabi na at may pasok pa siya bukas.

"But I want to see you tonight. I don't want to postpone important things I can do now... now that you need me," aniya pa.

"You have more important things to do tomorrow, Axasiel."

"That's technically for tomorrow, not for tonight. There's nothing more important to me now aside from—"

"I don't want to see you right now. I just want to talk to you, alright?"

"Then why did you accept my video call if you don't want to see me?" he countered with pain in his voice.

My heart sank as I stared at his wistful orbs. I curled my bottom lip and dug my teeth into it.

"Don't bite your lip like that," he mumbled and sighed. "I'll see you within half an hour, Izzy."

Umalis siya sa pagkakasandal sa headboard ng kanyang kama, mukhang handa at desidido talagang umalis at pumunta rito.