Missing Love

Missing Love-H

Same Trigger Warning as part 1. Please refer there for individual triggers. Major ones here are depression and suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts.

Harry was trying to steady his trembling hands and calm his tumultuous emotions as he continued to dress for his performance at the X Factor.

Normally, this sort of thing would be a routine in his now very depressing life. The main difference though is that he has a new management that actually listens to him and has made inroads to get him some help, but days like today he knows that the pill bottles that he has stashed away look very attractive, despite the fact that he promised Mitch that he'd tell him if he began having those thoughts again.

He knows he's not worth anyone's time. He puts on a happy and energetic façade when he performs so that no one will notice that he's slowly dying inside. His head is underwater and he can't breathe. His only source of air, his lifeline, he cut off long ago.

And now he has to face him again and see that gorgeous face and know that it won't ever be his again. The fact that when he broke his heart it broke his own as well is irrelevant, Louis is his life, and he has to live without him forever now because he surely won't believe his story.

It's complete torture and he's sure that Simon, at least will enjoy their misery.

He'll at least make the most of the fact that he's a captive audience and sing a song that communicates his complete isolation and depression to him.

I wonder what he would do if he ever found out about that contract...

***Flashback***

Harry was called in by Modest! to go over some things about his transition to solo artist so he made sure that Louis knew that in case anything weird was going on, but he didn't think it would be this drastic.

"What do you mean I have to break up with him?" Harry snarled.

"I mean that if it comes out that you are in a relationship with another man, you will never make it as an artist." The man that Harry didn't bother to remember his name said, "You have to break up if you want to be successful."

"Yeah that's a load of bullshit," He said heatedly, "You've been feeding us those lies for near to five years now and we've been successful, come up with something new please."

"Very well," the drone grinned sinisterly, "I have something for you to see then."

The Modest drone pulled out several pictures and articles about Louis in particular that were very damaging, not necessarily career ending but damaging nonetheless, "Why are you showing me this." Harry said lowly.

The Modest drone chuckled, "These are only a few of the things we've protected Louis from. He's a mischievous one I'll give him that. Syco wants him for themselves, but he's been looking further afield..."

"You've been sabotaging him." Harry growled, "His deal with Columbia fell through because of you bastards."

"Yes it did." He didn't even bother to deny it, "Simon wants to keep a talented songwriter like Louis on hand, so we resorted to sabotage to keep him here, but labels are getting suspicious."