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I open my eyes waking up from my nap. I look down hearing the beep and sigh. I've been in this hospital for 5 days and I am ready to go home.
They're keeping me because apparently I'm pregnant, have been for awhile. They've been doing hella test to make sure I was gonna be able to have this baby.
Honestly I don't even think I want it. Look at me, I'm not mother material. I'll probably ruin the little things life. Not to mention his/her father is a complete fucking monster.
The day DaySean found me lying unresponsive & beaten, Brandon came home the night before with an attitude and took it out on me. He lost a game or something sports related and while he was venting I was staring off into space reflecting on how dumb I was to give him a chance after the coffee shop.
I guess he felt disrespected and he punched me bringing me out of my daze. From there he just started beating on me and the last thing I remembered I was in the hospital.
Despite this being his fault I haven't mentioned Brandon to anybody. With him being apart of the NBA I just knew it wasn't gon look well for him or me.
I haven't told DaySean any of this despite her visiting every day. I know she's going to get me to keep it. I still might I'm just unsure. My mother wasn't the best, her mother wasn't the best how am I gonna be any different?
The door opens pulling me from my thoughts. I smile as best as I could seeing DaySean with the kids
"Hey booty" she says making Pharaoh laugh
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'Why you call her booty DayDay?' He asks still dying with laughter
'It's a nickname boy you so silly' she smiles at him. My heart warms watching them. DaySean she was meant for motherhood.
'So I brought the kids with me because you know tomorrow's Pharaohs birthday so I won't be able to make it here' Day says
'That's fine you know I wanna see my lil baby anyway' I say referring to Shiloh
'And me too?' Pharaoh asks
'Of course I wanna see TT's favorite guy' I say and he smiles running up to the bed. I help him up and he wraps his arms around me
'Hi TT' he says and I smile
'Hey boo.. You been being a good big brother?' I ask him
'Yes I help DayDay feed ShiShi and I get all the diapers in the trash and I help daddy too when DayDay sleep' he smiles
'Aww that's nice you like being a big brother?'
'Yeah but sometimes Shiloh cry too much' he whispers
'Yea? That's probably cuz shes still small' I tell him
'Thats what daddy said too' he laughs
'Yeah ya daddy a little smart' I say pinching my fingers together but leaving a small gap
'You funny TT' we laugh
Hearing soft whines we both look over and see Shiloh waking up in DaySean's arms. I smile ready to see her and play with her little fingers & toes.
'Bring her here' I tell Day, Pharaoh slides down and walks towards Day. He grabs her leg and 'helps' her walk over towards me. I smile thinking about how good of a man he's going to be one day.
Once they get to me Day hands me Shiloh and I smile wider.
'Hi boo boo' I say looking down at her. She smiles back at me and my heart just melts. I play around with her for awhile before it was time for them to go
'Bye TT I love you' Pharaoh waves
'See you boo, I love you more. And happy birthday have fun for me' I blow him a kiss making his lil cheeks turn red.
'Bye booty I'll be back Monday' Day waves, I frown before remembering no visitors on sunday.
'Ok girl love you' I wave
'Love you more' she says
'I love you too!' Pharaoh shouts one last time making me smile again
Once they were fully gone it gave me time to think again. I'm going to keep the baby.
Something changed while I was holding Shiloh. I don't know but I do know that I want to keep this baby and experience the joy I felt while being around Day's kids.
I'm scared of this but ready nonetheless.
I place my hand on my stomach and smile. I can do this
