Thoughts and Art and Stuff

Ear Rant lol

Okay, so I have messed up ears.

Here's the basics/what I'll write right now. (I might've forgotten something lol, but idk and I'm tired and crying so idc.)

This whole mess started ten years ago.

I got my tonsils and adenoids out within two school years (I think like Pre-k3 and 4)

I don't know when the guck started leaking, but there's this disgusting guck that leaks from my ears.

The basics of it is that it smells, it's disgusting, and it clogs my ears.

It literally covers my pillowcase and I usually have cotton balls in my ears (which don't help the hearing problems). There's sometimes been blood in the guck.

Gross.

I had my first ear tubes in my ears around age 5 or 6? I think.

That's when I got my glasses (:
I'm just full of problems lol

Stuff started getting worse in first grade.
And I was also diagnosed with Dyslexia in that grade.

I moved schools because the one I was at couldn't teach a student with Dyslexia and hearing problems well.

All I know is that in the span on 2nd grade and 5th grade, I had three more sets of tubes put in my ears and a more advanced surgery to try to patch up a hole they made in my ear.

Long story short, that surgery failed and the hole is bigger now.

Yay! (Sarcasm)

I think that's part of the reason there was blood in the guck for a while, because it was failing.

Within those (three?) years, my doctors office became known for making us late.

Not sure what they did, but we never got in on-time to that place, unless we had first appointment of the day.

The average time we had to wait was 1 to 2 hours.

I once sat in there, waiting, for 5 hours! (Three in the waiting room and two in the back where the doctor eventually came in).

Ear drops gradually became more painful to the point where earlier this year, when I had to do them (with the kind that was supposed to hurt less), I missed a day of school because I couldn't stop crying.

(The 'hurt less' thing didn't work.)

And I'm full DL/Online.

My doctor at the office I was at had no real plan.
It was really just ear drops, ear drops, ear drops, ear drops, ear drops, tubes, ear drops, ear drops, ear drops, she can't go under water or get water in her ears, ear drops, ear drops-

I think you get the point.

For a bit of time, my mom had to stand outside of the shower while I showered and cover my ears while I washed my hair.

Embarrassing.

Basically, for years I've been told stuff like;

"Oh, don't worry. People don't usually get three or more sets of tubes."

(I'm on my fourth )

"Don't worry. The tubes usually fall out, so most people don't need a second surgery to take the (failing) tubes out."

(Maybe one (set?) of my tubes has fallen out.)

"These problems don't usually last past age 10."

Well, look! I'm past age 10 and it's still getting worse!

I think we can establish that my ears are unique and don't do what they're supposed to.

I have two holes in my ears, that are decently sized and growing.

(They're probably the cause of all of the pain.)

I have a tube in my left ear right now.

The infections usually travel down to my pierced part of my ear, infecting that and causing it to be really painful. (I don't just wear one earring because it's a fashion trend lol, it's because the other is infected bad.)

I have a 504 plan (a legal document that gives me accommodations in school like hearing tech) to help the hearing loss.

The pain from my ears is getting unbearable, to the point where I have to stop when doing school or listening to music or even just chilling and take my headphones off (if I even have them on).

Falling asleep is hard because my ears are pounding and I have nothing to distract myself from the pain, so every other night I take medicine to stop it.

Talking about this is hard for me, so that and the pain usually ends with me crying, which doesn't help because then my ears just start hurting more.

It's like a cycle that goes over and over again, and it sucks!

This whole thing sucks.

So, because of all of this, I'm leaving my ear doctor of ten years.

(Btw, crying with a mask on is not fun. Trust me)

We're going to another doctor in his office, because there are limited numbers of ear doctors in my state, and if they keep wasting our time, we're going to a new office all together.

I have an appointment with the new doctor for the first appointment of the day a week from today, (on May 14th).

The problem with first appointment of the day is that it always runs during my three Honors and maybe longer, which stresses me out.

This is highly summarized and I'm not at all saying that I have the worst problems ever, because I don't, but they're stressful for me.

( Don't look down if you'll get grossed out )

(A cotton ball from today after leaving it in for an hour.)

(My pillowcase, don't know if you can see it well, but there's a lot of guck on it.)