Take a moment to think about all the celebrities you know. How many of them do you reckon would do well in Dis? Not many, I’ll wager. Perhaps none. Fame and fortune on Earth doesn’t count for shit when you’re dead. Very few people are strong enough, mean enough and downright psychotic enough to earn a reputation in Hell. Those few who have what it takes are people you never want to meet. The Slaughter Man is one of Hell’s legends. A huge, bearded man with filed teeth, bloodshot eyes and foam on his lips. Rumour has it that the day he first emerged from a birthing sac, he was unlucky enough to land at the feet of a slaver tribe. Well those tribesmen chuckled to themselves and readied their clubs and whips, only too happy to take some fresh meat captive. Outnumbered a dozen to one, naked, unarmed and brand new to Hell, most people wouldn’t stand a chance. If you believe the stories, the Slaughter Man shrugged off the clubs battering against him and the whips cutting into his flesh as though they were insect bites. He picked up the first slaver, put his hand into the man’s mouth and pulled his jaw right off his skull. He moved onto another, then another, tearing them apart with his bare hands until the survivors turned and fled. Nobody knows for sure who he was in life. I’ve heard theories though, the most popular one being that he was the berserker of Stamford Bridge. Supposedly, a single Viking held up the English army single-handed. It didn’t matter that he could never win, that he was outnumbered, that his enemies had better weapons and armour. He stood on that bridge and he fought. By the time he was brought down, he’d killed no less than forty men. I don’t know how true any of this is. I’ve never seen the Slaughter Man for myself and I don’t fucking want to. What I can tell you for sure is that people don’t become legendary in Hell without good reason. I’d guess that the only one who knows the truth is the Slaughter Man himself and he isn’t saying anything. Since the day he arrived in Hell, he’s only spoken once.
The fleeing slavers heard it as the Slaughter Man tore their tribe apart. Naked, bloody and surrounded by corpses, the Slaughter Man looked up to the storm-wracked sky and bellowed a single word…"VALHALLA!"
