Cigarette Daydreams - l.s

1

20 cigarettes

I took a large puff of the smoke in and let it burn my lungs, puffing the smoke out into the cool fall air. I was on my 19th cigarette of the day and I was almost to the end of it. I knew it was bad for me. I can't tell you the amount of times I've got that speech told to me, about how I would die younger and I could get cancer. Trust me I wasn't too excited about that stuff but I couldn't stop smoking. I loved the feeling it gave me and how it helped me when I was stressed.

I've tried to quit, I really have. First it was cold turkey, then I tried slowly cutting back, then it was those fake cigarettes, and just a month ago I tried those patches. None of it worked for me, no matter how hard I tried, so I've given up. I'm destined for a life of smoking and many health problems.

My cigarette was at its end so I went to pull out another only to see the pack was empty. That just won't do, I need at least one more to satisfy me for the day. So I got up and began walking away from my apartment towards the local convenient store. It was an agonizing walk in which all I craved was another cigarette to be between my lips.

After five minutes I finally reach the store, quickly going inside to get what I desperately craved. I grabbed four packs and brought them up to the counter to pay. I got a strange look from the guy behind the counter, but I was used to it and just payed before leaving. Immediately I pulled out a cigarette, lighting it and setting it between my lips. I let out a breath of relief. I didn't want to go back to my dingy apartment and sit there for the rest of the night so I decided to go for a walk.

I walked for about a half hour, going all around town before I found myself pretty tired. I finally took in my surroundings seeing that I was standing in front of a hospital. I would have turned around and walked away but when I tried to I bumped into someone.

"I'm so sorry." I say as I pull the cigarette away from my lips. Looking up to see who I'd bumped into a see a beautiful boy. He's tall, lanky, green/blue eyes, and soft looking curls.

"It's fine." He smiles, and that's when I notice the dimples adorning the corners of his mouth. I realize I'm staring when he gives me a strange look.

"Umm again sorry I wasn't looking where I was going." I practically repeated myself hoping I could drag on the conversation. I took another drag of my cigarette trying to calm my nerves. My stomach was full of butterfly's when he looked me in the eye as he spoke.

"It's uh really fine." He ended with a cough.

"Oh god I'm so sorry! You must not like the smell of cigarettes, I should have thought about that. I'm such a mess, sorry." I ranted out worriedly. I'd only just encountered him and I'm already messing up with every word I say and thing I do.

"It's really fine, you had no idea." He said wrinkling his nose. I couldn't help but think it was cute, despite him being uncomfortable around the smell.

"I've just really embarrassed myself." I gave a little laugh, trying to not make things seem so awkward. I should really practice my people skills for the future. Who knows when the next time I'll run into a gorgeous boy such as the one standing in front of me, I'll need to know how to act.

"No you didn't it's okay. I really need to go though, I've got to be somewhere at the moment." The tall boy smiled at me before turning away.

"Wait! Umm I didn't catch your name." I yelled after him, I was hoping I would see the boy again. There was just something about him that made me want keep talking with him, which is strange for me considering my very introvert personality.

"Harry! You?" He yelled back. Slowing down, but not fully stopping his walk towards the hospital doors.

"Louis." I told him. He just smiled and nodded before walking away and into the hospital.

When I was walking away back to my apartment I started to really think. Why was he at the hospital? I hope he's okay. I'm sure it can't be anything too bad, probably just a cold or a check up. Or he could even just be there to visit someone.

I shouldn't worry myself so much over a boy I don't even know. He's probably already forgotten about me anyways. Even if he hadn't forgotten he probably only remembers me as some annoying guy that made him late for wherever it is he needed to be, that smelled sickly of cigarette smoke. Which is not the ideal way to be remembered but that's what you get when you're an awkward, anti-social human being that doesn't know how to interact properly and has an extreme addiction to something that grosses out 90% of the population.

By the time I got back to my apartment my cigarette was finished and my mind was worn out. That's 20 today, I really should cut back and try to get the horrid smell of the smoke out of my apartment, otherwise I'll never have guests. I was however didn't smell a thing, being used to it by now.

When I was getting into bed I tried not to think about how in have to wake up early to go to work tomorrow. I would much rather stay home and contemplate how I can stop smoking and come up with no solution just like every other time rather than work. Pushing my thoughts away I reached over turning out the light, getting comfortable and went to sleep dreaming of a beautiful boy with curly hair.

-

Chapter one, what you think so far?

~B