Carolina [h.s]

chapter thirteen

I shrug, seeming to be better at lying lately. "Nothing happened specifically," I say, playing the memories in my head that I would never actually tell her. "I guess I was just overthinking, and well, maybe that triggered it." I say like I really don't know either.

"Overthinking about what?" she presses because she knows I'm not giving her all of the information.

I avoid eye contact by setting my mug down. My face remains blank, unaffected. "I don't know, stupid stuff. It doesn't really matter anymore, I'm over it." I stand up when my mug is half empty.

I didn't really feel like having this conversation, because it's been talked about a thousand times before. Talking about it didn't help me, and instead the only thing that did was to cover it all up. Burying it all so far, and so deep like it doesn't exist at all.

"Vada-"

"I'll call Juliet back. You're right, I should get out of the house." I know how to avoid it too well now.

"Yes, you do that but Vada-" she calls me again "If you wanna talk about it-"

"Right, I know. But I'm okay, I promise." I smile moving my way out of the kitchen before she can say anything else.

I honestly needed to leave before I went insane in this house. So I call a frantic Juliet, cutting off her questions telling her I'm sleeping over, and hang up before she can say anything else.

***

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Juliet's voice is laced with concern.

I shake my head from next to her on the couch in her living room. One of Juliet's favorite soap operas plays on the television in front of us, and we're surrounded by snacks and wine. I drink the liquid and ignore the potato chips.

"Not really," I say shortly, twisting my ring on my middle.

My head is a little heavy from countless glasses of wine, but I was itching for something stronger in Juliet's parents secret liquor cabinet.

"Okay, well we don't have to, but you know we can-"

"I really don't wanna bring it up anymore, it's not a big deal." I shrug sort of laughing it off. It was all so dramatic.

I was supposed to keep this secret that wasn't even mine. If I told her one thing I would have to tell her it all, and I couldn't do that. I felt guilty for leaving my best friend in the dark, and I knew she would feel betrayed if she found out. But Zayn was right, it was better left unsaid. Even if it meant her two closest people lying to her.

Juliet's brown eyes stare at me and it's obvious her expression is worried. But she sends me a smile being the carefree I need her to be right now.

"Right, okay." She agrees and pauses. And then she reaches behind her grabbing an envelope off of the end table next to the couch.

She hands it to me, avoiding eye contact. "Here," she chews on her lip, a nervous habit.

I glance at her before opening the already torn white envelope. "Dear Juliet Parker," I read out loud "We are pleased to inform you that you have been admitted to Fashion Institute of Technology for our fall 1990 semester." my eyes are wide as I look at her and my mouth falls open.

"Holy shit, Li! New York?" I practically jump out of my seat, seeming to be more excited than her as she sits completely still. "When did you get this?" I question looking over the envelope and paper.

"Two months ago," she answers, shrugging. My eyes widened.

"What's with you? This school is your dream?" I then question.