Latex Loony

1

"May I call you Mouse, Ms. Kaspersky?"

Shivering from the cold, Mouse answered, "Sure, Doctor Swanston. Why am I here?"

Smiling, Dr. Swanston explained, "Well, my dear, you collapsed with heat exhaustion in the middle of winter. The hospital emergency staff hat to cut you out of many layers of clothing including several latex catsuits and a stringent corset."

Mouse hesitantly asked, "And?"

Beaming, Dr. Swanton explained, "But that is the very point, Mouse. You are endangering yourself by overdressing, and the problem is that you do not appreciate the danger."

Mouse countered, "Ever since I was a child, I have dressed this way, and it has never been a danger and never caused problems before. Were it not that I was trapped with five other people in a lift for three hours, this would never have happened. Are any of the other people who collapsed imprisoned here?"

A bit condescendingly, Dr. Swanston replied, "My dear Mouse, none of the other people wore as much as you. Let me read it out to you; a full-body latex catsuit with gloves and hood, a pair of woolen tights, a rubber whole torso corset stringently laced, another pair of woolen tights, another full-body latex catsuit, yet another pair of woolen tights and leotard and a woolen hood, ballet boots, and a pair of gloves over you two latex layers of gloves. Now that is not normal, my dear, Mouse, and dangerous. It is a form of self-harm."

Mouse countered, "Perhaps we could look in the Big Book of Normality what allowable clothing is? Seeing that I am imprisoned here in this Loony Bin, perhaps you can show me what crime I am charged with, Dr. Swanston? Even if what you incorrectly surmise was true, suicide is not illegal, is it? You see that I am lucid and in my full faculties, so release me, please!"

Dr. Swanston continued in her superior tone, "It is not that simple, Mouse. Perhaps if I explain it to you differently. An intervention is to help someone who has alcohol or drug misuse, compulsive eating, or other addictive behaviors, such as overdressing. When these behaviors endanger the person's life, such as you have, medical professionals have to intervene."

Mouse questioned, "Dr. Swanston, do you always walk around in winter with just thin stockings? Do you know that overcooling your knees and ankles will lead you to develop age and behavioral ankle and knee problems? Perhaps your colleagues should call an intervention to your way of dressing? If I do die, it is over. But if you do not change your behaviors, when older, you will be a burden to your family and to the economy when you aren't mobile."

Exacerbated and frustrated, Dr. Swanston exclaimed, "Mouse, be reasonable, Mouse. That is not a comparison, and many women dress this way. It is appropriate attire for a professional in my position. Aside, I am not at issue here, Mouse, you are."

Mouse countered, "I feel your judgment and condescension dripping from your every word. Not since preschool have I heard the justification of everybody does it this way in any series and meaningful way. Also, your V-necked blouse pointing to the top of your breasts is far less appropriate than my modest way of clothing. So, your skewed version of what is or is not appropriate is very much at issue, Dr. Swanston? Perhaps it would be better if you do address me with Ms. Kaspersky."

"Mouse," "Ms. Kaspersky, Dr. Swanston!" interrupted Mouse, paused, then continued, "Have I displayed enough mental acuity so that you can release me. At the very least, treat me like an adult, not a loony?"

Dr. Swanston took a deep breath and sighed, then she restarted, "Ms. Kaspersky. I do not make the rules, and you are bound to a court-ordered stay of one week for evaluation. I have no say in this matter, and neither do you. Let us try to make the best out of this, and allow me to make a considered report on your mental state. But perhaps we can start again?"

Dr. Swanston tried a different tact, "Is that Miss or Mrs. Kaspersky? We could not find any records for you."

Mouse countered, "Is that Miss or Mrs. Doctor?"

The doctor sighed again, then reiterated, "Ms. Kaspersky, may I at least get to know you? I am sorry, I am not allowed to reciprocate by allowing you to address me with Jane, but perhaps you can call me doc?"

Mouse answered, "Well, doc, where would you like me to start?"

Dr. Swanston cleared her throat, smiled, and spoke, slightly embarrassed, "Well, Ms. Kaspersky, at the beginning. I mean, when did you start to dress differently from others?"