The Villainess With No Happy Endings

Chapter Twenty-Nine - The Shadows Of My Past

I didn't say anything to him and just focused on taking all the petals off and putting them in the pile with the rest. If I just pretend he isn't here then he will leave me alone. Bastard, all of them. They think so little of you but start crying the moment you fight back. Why should you lower your head and apologize? Make them hurt, make them cry, make them question why they are alive.

"I have thought about the reason why you hate me. I notice something interesting whenever you look at me when you think I am not looking. It feels like you aren't looking at me, it feels like you are looking at someone else." I could feel myself twitch as he mentioned that and I tried to ignore it as I went to get another daisy from the ground and start to pull at the petals once again.

"I saw the look before and I often have that look as well. I wonder if you are seeing your father whenever you look at me. I would understand since I heard about the way he treats you after all. But there is nothing about me that should remind you of him." Isaias kept talking and I was starting to hear static coming from my ears. The daisy in my hand started to look different...

"I wonder if it's your brother you are seeing whenever you look at me. But that wouldn't make sense either since he is here as well so you couldn't mistake me for him. I wonder who you are seeing when you look at me with those hate-filled eyes. I wonder who you hate that much with a passion." I could barely hear Isaias anymore and it felt like I was in a static TV. My head felt heavy and light at the same time. It felt like... What did it feel like?

I shouldn't listen to him and keep pulling at the daisies in front of me. Wait a minute... When did the daisies become the head of people? I am just ripping their heads off and listening to them scream. Who are they again? I don't remember, I don't care. I hate them. All of them are pieces of shit.

My hands are covered in their blood but it doesn't make me feel better. Why don't I feel better? I should feel better. This isn't fair. How come I am the monster for making them pay for all the pain they gave me? Am I really the bad one? Mommy tells me if I am a good person... Am I really a waste of space who shouldn't have been born?

No matter how much I keep hurting them it doesn't make me feel better. What is happening? I just want to feel better. Everything is wrong and I don't know what to do. I don't want to deal with this feeling anymore. I wish I wasn't able to feel anything. Just make everything go numb... I like it when I am numb.

"A...Aurelia... Can...Can't...Breath..." How did this happen? When did I put my hands around Isaias' neck? What is that black ink dropping on his face? Is... Is that my tears? Why am I crying? I don't understand why I am like this... Is this really me? Who am I again? I am Alina... Wrong... It Aurelia...

I don't know anymore. My head is weird. I have to leave. Where should I go? I don't know. I will find somewhere. I take my hands from Isaias's neck and get off of him. I could hear him calling out to me but I didn't stop to listen to what he wanted to say, I needed to go away. I walked back into the house and went to my room. I don't remember much as I was heading back to my room, it was like a dream.

I could feel a warmth coming from my neck and I touched the magic stone I always kept with me. I put my hand on it for a while before taking it off and throwing it on the bed. I felt my body become even colder once I did that but I didn't move to get it back. No matter how badly I wanted to grab it off the bed, I won't pick it up...

I headed into the bathroom and turned on the light. I face myself in the mirror and I realize I couldn't make out what I look like. My face was scribbled out... What did I look like before? Did I have black hair... No, that was Alina. What color was my hair? Were my eyes black? No, that was Alina. My right ear should look like a piece of it is missing... No that isn't right, I am not Alina.

I say that but the person in the mirror keeps changing and getting even more scribble... I don't know what is real or fake anymore. I don't know what I really look like anymore. Do I really look different or am I just the same? Did anything really change about me or am I just imagining it?

Who am I again? I am Aurelia... No, I am Alina... No, I am Aurelia... No, I am Alina... No, I am Aurelia... No, I am Alina... No, I am Aurelia... No, I am Alina... No, I am Aurelia... No, I am Alina... No, I am Aurelia... No, I am Alina... No, I am Aurelia... No, I am Alina... No, I am Aurelia... No, I am Alina... No, I am Aurelia... No, I am Alina... No, I am Aurelia... No, I am Alina... No, I am Aurelia... No, I am Alina... No, I am Aurelia... No, I am Alina... No, I am Aurelia... No, I am Alina... No, I am Aurelia... No, I am Alina... No, I am Aurelia... No, I am Alina... No, I am Aurelia... No, I am Alina... No, I am Aurelia... No, I am Alina... No, I am Aurelia... No, I am Alina... No, I am Aurelia... No, I am Alina... No, I am Aurelia... No, I am Alina... No, I am Aurelia...

I couldn't take the endless thoughts in my head anymore so I punched at the mirror in front of me until it cracked. I could see two people in the mirror but are they truly me? Who am I anymore? This is too much for me to handle... I feel so sick. I could feel my hand that punch the mirror twitching and I felt a dull sensation of pain.

I looked at my hand and realize I was bleeding badly and there was a glass shard in it. It was deep in my hand and I grab at it. I twisted it around in my hand for a second so it could make the cut even bigger. After it felt like I couldn't handle the pain anymore I finally took out the glass from my hand. There was a long cut that was bleeding on my hand and I think I could see my bone. I decided to wash my hand and headed out of the bathroom before I did anything else to myself.

I walked in a daze toward the balcony of my room and looked down toward the ground. I got on the handrail and jumped. I fell to the ground but I only felt a dull sense of pain. I slowly started to walk in a random direction away from the house. I could feel that I was bleeding from my hand again but I didn't bother to deal with it.

I could hear the voice of the figure calling out to me but I was too deep in my thoughts to make out what they were saying to me. I just wanted to get away from everything for a while. I needed to be alone. I could feel a dull pain going through my body but I didn't care to stop and see what was going on with my body.

I could feel a huge amount of darkness surrounding me as my thoughts became even harder to understand. I felt myself being consumed by the darkness but I didn't mind it at all. I just needed to be alone so I could understand my thoughts. I will go to sleep for a while and hopefully wake up somewhere else...

I just wanted to be somewhere far away right now... My eyes were getting blurry and it felt like it was hard to keep walking. The area surrounding me was completely dark and I could feel my legs getting weak. I couldn't make out anything in front of me anymore and I felt light-headed. I couldn't walk anymore and I fell down, I could feel the dull pain slowly disappearing. I close my eyes and I slowly sank into the darkness.

Author Note - You ever just question if you are really here? That you are not just stuck in an endless dream that you can't escape from? What a shitty feeling and I understand that feeling. It is hard to figure out if you are really here or not. That is currently what Aurelia is going through.