"To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us."
Timothy Keller
Tommy wasn't one for sappy moments. He couldn't handle emotions well, not his own and definitely not anyone else's. That was one of his faults. He tried being empathetic, sometimes, to certain people, but he fell short. They didn't need him to make themselves feel better. Most people didn't want him to try. Tommy was fine with that, he was.
But Clara was someone else. She was there at every moment, hovering around him like a concerned parent. Tommy loathed to admit the fluttering in his heart or the redness in his cheeks when Clara would call him by a precious nickname or ruffle his hair. Clara was the combination of all the good parts of Wilbur, Dream, and Philza, with a few friendly aspects from Tubbo and Ranboo. Clara didn't ignore him or leave him or make him feel bad for a laugh. She didn't assume that his playing off her words was him not caring what she said. Clara somehow understood that it was his defense mechanism.
Right now, she was holding onto his hand as they jumped across the leafy blocks of the treetops. Clara wore a knee length leathery red jacket with a golden button knotted together at her stomach. It was accompanied by a plain pink shirt that bristled into a short skirt and white leggings with leather boots. Her pink curls were resting on her back, held down by a black hat with a golden trim and a feather blowing in the wind.
Clara told Tommy that morning when he woke up that she would take him on an adventure. She gave him a warm hug, her usual scent wafting from her skin to his nose. It reminded him of the Egg but somehow softer, with added touches of cigarette smoke that smelled like Wilbur. Tommy held on for a moment longer than needed, relishing in the familiar scent of his caretaker. Clara chuckled into Tommy's curls, and the boy pushed back as he remembered this wasn't Wilbur.
Tommy got dressed in his usual outfit, adding in some accessories like a knife hilt attached to his leather boots that had extra grip on the soles. Tommy hooked a scabbard on his pants belt, placing his rubite sword into the leather pocket that was enchanted to keep the sword sharp. Tommy had done the Enchantment himself, and Clara ruffled his hair while muttering that she was proud of him.
"We're going to some old temples to find Totems of Undying and Enchantment books. I'm hoping that we'll find a good book at the temples I have in mind," Clara had said as she gave Tommy a compass. When Tommy opened the handheld device he saw something carved into the metal of the surface. Your Star.
"You listened..." Tommy whispered in disbelief as his finger traced the engraved letters. When Tommy gave Clara her name, he explained it was from an astronaut in deep space that he admired. He didn't imagine that she was paying careful attention in that moment, that she would remember, or that she would even care.
"I told you, Tommy, I'm your friend till the end. If you think something is worth saying, I'm always going to listen," Clara had laughed quietly, hand brushing through Tommy's hair as she pulled out her matching compass. The difference was that her compass had the words My Sunshine etched into the gold. Tommy frowned at the name.
"Good morning, sunshine, did you sleep well?"
Tommy unconsciously flinched at the voice that filled his head. Clara frowned at this, but didn't ask as she grabbed his hand, leading him to the forest and away from the Server.
"Leaving so soon, sunshine? Make sure to wear your coat, okay?"
Tommy pushed the voice down into the deepest pits of his mind where bad memories hung in shadows and waited to spring up during panic attacks. Tommy focused on Clara's warm hand resting in his cold one, allowing her to drag his body forwards. He didn't complain or fret when she helped him climb a tree, teaching him where to step on the leafy blocks in order to move faster. She laughed as they picked up the pace, lifting them into the air as they crossed trees. Tommy was half laughing and half cursing as they took a leap into the sky, Clara turning to face Tommy while pulling him forwards, eyes pressed shut as a smile split her face.
When they landed, Tommy crashed into Clara's awaiting arms, getting roped into a hug. He grumbled a few complaints as he returned the hug, relishing in the feeling while doing his best to push it away. He hated trusting Clara. It reminded him of Eret, Wilbur, Tubbo, Dream, Techno, Niki, Jack- he's been betrayed a lot, hasn't he? Tommy made a face at the thought.
"We're here, sunshine," Clara whispered to him, eyes glancing at the dilapidated building that was camouflaged with the plants by hiding behind trees and vines. Tommy stared in shock as he crept into the temple. When was the last time he had been in a temple? He avoided them, and he was never sure why. He was a true believer of Prime, he had joked, unable to cross the threshold of other deities. Now, it just felt surreal.
"Be careful, sunshine. Temples are crawling with Mobs and defense systems. An ancient race had built these, and they were very meticulous in their designs," Clara explained, drawing her sword from her scabbard. Tommy lifted his hand so his fell from his Inventory into existence. They entered the temple slowly, back to back with trained eyes searching for danger.
An arrow darted in front of Tommy's face, and he rolled backwards. He looked to the Skeleton, ashy bones held together by willpower was holding a bow with unlimited arrows, dark holes for eyes seeming to stare at Tommy. The abyss looks back, Tommy thought with an eye roll as he rushed the Skeleton, feinting left before striking the ribs to the right to turn the Skeleton into ash, the wooden bow clattering on the temple ground.
"I'm so proud!" Clara said to him as she crossed his eyesight to stab her sword in the small, black body of an arachnid with beady red eyes. She lifted a leg to kick the head off a zombie. Tommy ran around Clara to swipe a Creeper in half. Once that was taken care of, it was easy going from there. Tommy pulled out a Rubite axe to destroy Spawners quickly while Clara dealt with the remaining skeletons.
"Now! We scavenge for treasure," Clara remarked while looking through all the chests she could find. She absentmindedly commented on what she found, putting some less valuable items on the floor while she stashed away what she needed. "I haven't found an Enchantment book yet."
"I found a Totem," Tommy smiled as he held the golden figure with emerald eyes in his hand. Magic sparked around the glowing talisman, the energy of life circulating in and around the item. Tommy felt a little sick as he placed the Totem in his Ender chest.
"That's amazing. At least we accomplished one objective of this trip," Clara stayed optimistic for Tommy's sake since he seemed down in the dumps over some thing. Clara wandered over to the last chest, pushing it open before releasing a small gasp. "We've hit the jackpot!"
Red leather books filled the chest from top to bottom, barely any space for air. It was crammed so full that Tommy felt the magical residue from halfway across the room. Tommy shifted uncomfortably as Clara started unpacking the books. "Tommy! Look at all of these! They are in perfect condition, and bursting with Magecraft! I can finally teach you the intricacies of Enchantment! By the looks of it, some might have decent explanations of Transmutation and Illusion type Magecraft. And..."
Clara cut herself off as Tommy pulled a specific book from the chest. Instead of it being red leather, it was a blackened, ashy sort of cover with a figure carved onto the surface. Tommy's eyes narrowed as he flipped the book open, looking more and more drained as he held it. His face was growing pale, eyes fluttering, and body trembling. Clara reached for the book, breaking the spell that was being cast on Tommy. There was only one book that could suck the life from anyone holding it...
"A revive book."
