Second Life (Book 2 of Psychopath)// Jeonghan ff

8. Maybe

My mind was clouded with the thoughts. I am not Y/N but why am I hurt? I am not Y/N but why do I miss Jeonghan like he's a part of my life.

My tears still falling, I hurriedly went out of my room and ran fast to get away from the house without even minding that Dino and Seungkwan was in there. I don't know where to go but my feet seems like they memorized the way and I saw myself in the park. The same park that I saw in the album where Y/N was sitting on the swing.

Wiping my tears, I slowly walked towards the now old swing. I sat on it and cried again.

"Why am I feeling awful?"- I asked myself

"Why Y/N? Am I your second life? Am I you?"- I said again still crying

"I'm sorry, you have to feel that"- a guy suddenly said and sat beside me.

I looked up at him and saw Minghao handing me his handkerchief.

"You shouldn't cry"-he said not looking at me

Suddenly I remembered one of the picture I saw earlier. A little girl holding a little boy's hand.

I stared at Minghao for who knows how long.

"Your face tells me that you want to ask me something"-he said before he smiled slightly

I sighed. Fighting the urge to ask him about Y/N.

"If you don't want to ask then I will. Why are you crying? Does Mingyu know you're here?"-Minghao

I shook my head. I heard him sighed. We stayed silent until I gained courage to ask.

"How are you related to Y/N?"-I suddenly asked him

He looked at me a bit surprised before looking away. I thought he won't answer me but he spoke.

"She's my best friend"- he said and everything went quite.

"She became a part of my everything and so was I to her."-he said fighting the urge to cry

"You can cry. No one's gonna know except me"-I said

He looked at me and his tears started flowing.

"I wish i believed her. If only I believed her. She always believes in me but I didn't do the same to her. I was the first to judge her instead of understanding her. I didn't even got the chance to apologize to her before she left"-he said sobbing.

He looked so vulnerable but I don't know what to say to comfort him so I just held his hand.

"The first time I saw you, I thought you were Y/N. I was positive when Mingyu told me your name. So I was eager to get close to you. I always stay at the cafe just to see you. It might sound weird but I can't help it."-he said still crying

"Days passed, I noticed how different you are from the Y/N I know. You're carefree, friendly but Y/N's not. I started to believe that you're just one of those identical individuals in the world. I don't believe in second life not until the Hansol, Seokmin and Mingyu told me about your situation especially when I saw you running away from the cafe to go to Y/N's grave. Are you really our Y/N's second life? Was the question I have in mind. Because if you are, I would want to make up to you. I'm sorry for not believing in you. I should have. I'm sorry for leaving you when you need me the most. I'm sorry for turning my back at you. I'm sorry Y/N. Forgive me."-he said crying.

Not soon after, he was kneeling in front of me, holding my hand while crying. Seeing him made me cry. We were both crying while holding each other's hands.

"Eisa, please stand up"-I just said without thinking twice.

"Y-you called me E-eisa? How?"-he asked

I got quite, confused as to why I called him that.

"I d-don't know. I suddenly just said it"

"Only Y/N calls me that"-he said smiling bitterly

"She made that nickname for me"-he added

He wiped of my tears using his thumb and kissed my forehead before pulling my hands.

"Let's get you home. It's already late"-he said and wiped his own tears

We were walking quietly until we reached my house. He stopped in front of our gate and looked at me still holding my hands and smiled.

"I'm glad you're back. Don't leave us again Y/N. I'm sorry for everything."-he said and kissed my forehead before waving goodbye.

I watched him until he turned in an alley before I went inside the house only to be faced with Mingyu, Hansol, Seokmin, Dino and Seungkwan who looks so restless.

"Hey"- I said casually

They all charged to hug me at the same time.

"I thought you left"-Mingyu

"We panicked when we saw you run away crying"-Seungkwan

"We all forgot to close the cafe because we panicked after these two called us"-Seokmin

"I even brought the rug with me when I heard you runaway"-Hansol

"Don't leave us noona. Please"-Dino said and hugged me tighter.

I just hugged them back tight and smiled. I won't leave again. I will never.

🌻💎🌻