赤 - RED.

𝟏𝟗

cold

Life doesn't work like that. Dazai knew that better than anyone else.

He was used to wanting and once having it, losing it. So now that he has Chuuya, he couldn't help but think — know — that he was going to loose him too.

-

He walked down the corridor, heading to the kitchen without making much noise because Chuuya was peacefully sleeping on his room. The floor was cold and, as his house wasn't very warm either, his body was too.

Everything was dark so he couldn't see anything either, but he knew how to make his way around the house, after all he has been living there for years,  so he pulled out two bottles of liquor from the kitchen shelf and didn't even bother to pull out a glass to drink it. He sat on the floor and leaned on the wall, the cold slowly crawling up his body making him feel numb.

He closed his eyes and opened a bottle, throwing the lid to who knows where. The smell of the alcohol quickly made its way to Dazai's nostrils and the brunet lightly chuckled at the thought of pathetically drinking alone in the cold kitchen floor. He took a sip of the liquor, the bitter taste of it going down his throat, burning it. He cleaned the corner of his lips with the back of his hand and leaned his head on the wall, his hair falling on his face, darkening his sight even more.

A loud sigh left his mouth and he just drank until it was one bottle and then two. He was slowly starting to feel tipsy — drunk —, his head feeling lighter and as everything began to spin, everything seemed clearer too. Maybe he had too much liquor (he definitely had), but he began to feel light and calm.

He giggled to himself and got up, taking out another bottle of the shelf and opened the main door of the house, as he was going out, a little sleepy voice talked behind him.

"Dazai? Where were you-" Dazai smiled widely and turned around. "Chuuya!" This one smiled sheepishly at him, but, when he noticed the bottles of liquor on the floor next to him, he frowned. "Have you been drinking?" Dazai huffed and shook his head. "No!" His voice was childish, more than usual, so Chuuya rolled his eyes at the evident lie.

"You have." He said, deadpanned, and Dazai sighed. "I clearly have."

Chuuya was exasperated, yesterday he thought that maybe everything was better now, but apparently, with the brunet nothing is ever clear.

"Where were you going?" Dazai stiffed for a second, looking at the floor, but then he nonchalantly smiled at the red-haired, waving his hand. "Nowhere." Nakahara crooked an eyebrow, looking at him in disbelief and then nodding at the younger's hand in the doorknob, this one quickly closed the door.

"You can go back to sleep, chibi. I won't go anywhere." Chuuya's heart clenched seeing that fake smile again, something just didn't feel right and he didn't want to leave Dazai alone, but the brunet was pushing him away again and he just doesn't know what else to do.

"I can't trust you." He said, and Dazai's smile wavered. "You already left me once, what's stopping you from making it twice?" He knew he didn't choose his words right when Dazai became completely serious, looking at him coldly.

"I didn't leave you," he said under his breath, his hands trembling and the back of his eyes stinging with anger. Chuuya huffed. "You fucking did!" Both their hearts were beating faster, their breathings slowly becoming unsteady and the younger just couldn't help but raise his voice, too.

"I had to!" He shouted, picking at the border of the bandages in his hand, scratching so hard it drew blood out, falling slowly from his slender hand to the cold floor below them. "Because he asked you to?" Dazai's breath hitched and he could feel his head spinning, it was harder to focus on the angry, little, red-haired in front of him, the room was suddenly growing darker and his knees felt numb; he looked at the floor, that was slowly swallowing him and when he heard another huff, he looked up again.

"Leave." Chuuya's angry gaze faltered and he took a step closer. "You're not being serious, right?" But his tone was severe, he knew Dazai was being serious, it was more like a question out of disbelief. "Dazai?" And when he stretched his hand out to take the brunet's and this one looked at him with just pure rage, there wasn't any more room for doubt.

He turned around and left the house without looking back.

-

HAPPY DAZAI DAY!!

Let's pretend I didn't disappear for like two months. I don't have that much motivation, but I've been trying to at least finish this story.

I hope you're having a great life, thank you for reading.