Tears and Smiles (Original version)

Chapter 3

"Axel?"

He stopped in his tracks and felt tears prickling his eyes all over again. How much he missed Kai's voice. He fought back tears that were threatening to leave his eyes (again) and turned back to look at Kai.

"Yah?" he whispered softly not meeting Kai's eyes.

"How are you going home?" Kai asked and pointed at the dark clouds looming closer.

"Damn, it'll start raining before he reaches home. This day just keeps on getting worse." Axel thought but said

"I'm walking but I'm sure I'll figure something out." Instead, neither his tone raising nor meeting Kai's eyes.

"We'll drop you?" Kai asked nervously. Axel wasn't really sure what to do. As much as he wants to go with them, he can't. Absolutely no. He will get hurt again. And again. So he can never go with them.

"It's ok. Really. I can walk home, it's no big deal." He tried to sound nonchalant. He just wants to go home and cry alone for the rest of the night. Is it that hard to do that?

"You're coming with us." This time it was Miles. His deep but concerning voice made Axel look at him with a broken expression. He shifted nervously and looked at the counter only to realise March was nowhere to be seen so he assumed she was changing.

Axel blinked a few times and nodded with hesitation but that was enough for Kai's face to light up. He ran outside like a little kid and immediately unlocked his before jumping in the back seat. Miles shook his head in amusement and started walking in the direction of the car as Axel slowly walked behind him.

Once they loaded their groceries and begun driving, it started raining. Heavily. No one talked for a good ten minutes and the tension was so thick that Axel could cut it with a knife. He wondered why did they even bother to offer him a ride in the first place. They are engaged and are about to lead a happy life and now Axel feels like he is interrupting their time. He loved them and just because he can't be with them doesn't mean he doesn't want them to be happy. This silence, it hurt. All the excitement Kai possessed in Walmart was somehow disappeared when they started riding.

Miles looked at Kai and then at Axel before asking "Where should I drop you?" Axel knew they didn't know where he lived, hell he doubted whether they knew he was even back but this question sounded more like he was trying to ease the tension than trying to get his address.

Axel gave him his address and the uncomfortable silence returned again. No one bothered to turn the radio ON either and this silence hurt so much that Axel started wondering if he made a mistake agreeing.

"How are you?" This question asked by Kai definitely caught Axel's attention.

"I'm fine." was Axel's reply but Kai very well knew that he wasn't. He was lean, very lean compared to how he was seven years ago. He looked exhausted, his hair was a mess and his eyes looked so tired, that it looked like he gave up completely on life. This was the complete opposite of how Axel previously looked. When they were seventeen, Axel's body packed with muscles and his hair was a beautiful colour of dark orange with curls that landed just above his eyes. He used to have a mischievous sparkle in his eyes that even though their whole school knew he was gay, girls used faun over him and used to talk about why all good-looking people were gay.

Before Kai could argue with Axel about his health, the car stopped and so did their conversation. Axel looked up front to see they've reached his apartment so he unbuckled, and turned towards them.

"Thank you for giving me a ride." was the only thing he said before he opened the car door to get down.

"Wait? You're living here? No. you know how dangerous this place is." Kai tried reasoning with him. of course, he knew that this place is dangerous. The place where rapists, gang leaders, murderers, live. Of course, he knew he could get raped anytime here. He could get raped, kidnapped and murdered here and no one would care. But he didn't have enough money to live in a decent apartment. For his budget, this was the only place he could manage to get an apartment. He just has to stay safe here until he gets a good job and then he can rent a better place. Anyhow he didn't have anyone who would actually care if he was alive or dead. He could slit his neck and there wouldn't be anyone who would mourn for him. So, it doesn't even matter anymore.

"it's fine, I can manage. This is none of your concerns though" He muttered but obviously they heard him.

"Stop. We care ok. I was your best friend and this one, who drove you here, was your boyfriend. Just because he broke up with you for me doesn't mean we don't care about you. We searched for years after you abruptly left us. You were the one who blocked out numbers and disappeared to god knows where, and now you are acting like you've never met us, like we're strangers. Don't you dare say it's none of our concerns." Now, Kai's voice was getting louder and angry.

If you cared, you wouldn't have left me sliding down the wall as you walked away with my boyfriend. If Miles cared, he wouldn't have cheated on me with you. If you both cared, you would have visited me when Victor died. If you cared you would have noticed that I loved you and I still love you. Axel wanted to scream all this loud clear until they both goddamned understood that he loved them. He opened his mouth to speak but before he spoke someone else interrupted, and at that point Axel knew that his life will change.

"You're staying with us. No arguments"