Carolina [h.s]

chapter eleven

"And you," his eyes search mine "you fucking fell in his trap so fast, and that's on me. I did that shit to you, I let him-" he closes his eyes taking in a shaky breath clenching his jaw. "I let him get too close, and he almost had you." his eyes open but he doesn't meet mine as he leans back again throwing his half lit cigarette out the window.

"I almost let him have you, and you should fucking hate me for that."

He pulls the keys out of the ignition opening the drivers door, stepping out leaving me in the unfamiliar blue trans am. Black leather is cold against my bare thighs, and the tears in my eyes are threatening to spill out. I didn't wanna think about his words or his actions tonight.

I watched the bruised boy walk in front of the car and approach room four. Opening the door he slips inside without a glance back. But then I notice how the door doesn't shut all the way behind him.

I stare at the crack of the open door, an obvious invitation. And I think I should just ignore it and go upstairs to my room. That I've had enough trouble for one night.

But as I open the car door and step out, my feet take me towards the door with the number four on it and I'm anxious because I've never been invited in his space before.

The lights are dim, only a bedside lamp lighting up the small motel room with one bed. The air is vanilla mixed with tobacco and I realize this is trouble all in one.

Standing with his back facing me I slip in through the door as he takes off his flannel throwing it on the bed.

"Close the door," his voice is low as he pats his pockets, pulling out his wallet and pack of cigarettes, throwing them on the table next to  him.

I do as he says and shut the heavy door before stepping further into the room as I lean my back against it. I watch his back as he turns around. Green meets my grey and his features are dark. There's a blood stain on his white tee that shows off tan arms and tattoos.

Taking three long strides he's in front of me.
Almost inches away from my face he leans down reaching behind me taking the chain to the door and locks us in. The lock clicks, and then it's just us.

He stares down at me, almost waiting. I then cross my arms, creating distance between us.

"I was just pretending for them," he then says quietly, his eyes on the distance between us. "I would never—"

"You basically did Harry." I cut him off. "I mean, they all think you made a deal for me, so you could have me right?" I tilt my head at him, wondering and don't give him a change to respond.

"Have you done it before, for real?"

He closes his eyes, taking in a breath. "No," he answers exhaling, "but I didn't have a choice tonight. You have no idea what they could of done, what they are capable of—"

"So tell me!" I step forward so he steps back.  "Just tell me how you're involved with these people. We can do something, we can get help," I reach out for his arm.

Always stubborn pulls back quickly. "Don't you fucking get it?" He's backed up a few feet from me now. "There's no getting out of it, there's no getting help. You can't fucking help me, I'm in it for life!"

My eyebrows drop. "In what for life? What are you involved in?" I let out a shaky breath, my voice more calm than his.

He sits down on the bed, elbows on his knees and he presses his palms over his eyes. "You wouldn't understand—"

"You're right, I don't understand that's why I'm asking you to explain." I step forward in front of him as he sits below me. "Just tell me one thing at least, if not the whole story. Just give me something."