Newtmas - a regular life

Chapter 10

Thomas, still thinking about Newt's confession, tightened his grip on the boy. He held him as if he would lose him forever if he let go. And he wasn't going to risk that. Newt was everything to Thomas. It felt like it was his purpose in life to protect him.

Newt huddled closer to Tommy as he felt his grip on him tighten. He didn't want to ever leave his side, ever leave his embrace. He felt safe with Tommy, like his terrible thoughts would ever return to him, as if they were never there.

When the two boys pulled back, Newt let his head hang down, so he was looking down at the ground. Thomas sighed, tired of the boy avoiding his gaze. He put his index finger underneath his chin, and lifted his head up.

"Newt, please just look at me. I don't think any less of you. All this tells me is that sometimes, I might have to pull you up. It's fine. Please don't act so embarrassed." Newt shifted his gaze so he was looking at Tommy. He could see the smile in his eyes, not just on his mouth. He realized that no matter what Newt told Tommy, he would always be there for him. Through everything that happened.

Newt smiled, wider than he ever had. He could feel the muscles in his face stretching. Newt didn't even remember the last time her felt this happy. All he knew, was that he loved it. He loved Tommy. He loved him for making him so happy.

Thomas chuckled, Newt looked so awkwardly happy. He couldn't even remember the last time he looked this happy. He felt his heart ache for him, he loved everything about him. The way he smiled, how he always put everyone before him, showing how selfless he was. He loved the familiar musical sound of his laugh, how it made Tommy's insides buzz. Thomas loved him so much.

Newt rested his forehead on Tommy's shoulders, taking in the scent of him. He smiled again, and wrapped his arms around Tommy's waist, hugging him tightly. He shifted closer to him.

Thomas shifted closer to Newt also, the two of them just sitting in silence, hugging each other, just enjoying the others presence. They didn't need to say anything or do anything to have a good time with each other, they could just relax and enjoy themselves. That was one of the things they loved about each other.

Newt shifted sideways, falling into Tommy's reach. Tommy slid a hand over his shoulders, while Newt wrapped both arms around his waist. Newts head was on Tommy's shoulder, and they rested like that until they fell asleep together.

*****
When Tommy woke up, the sun had risen. He went to stretch, but decided against it when he saw Newt resting peacefully on his shoulder. He smiled.

He ran his fingers through the blonds hair, admiring how soft it was. Tommy moved his hand to Newt's cheek, softly caressing it. How did I end up with someone as amazing as Newt? Tommy thought to himself. He didn't think we was nearly enough for Newt.

Although, at the same time, he knew he was enough for Newt. More than the boy ever hoped for. Newt wouldn't have chosen Tommy if he didn't really love him nor think he was beyond great. The though warmed Tommy's heart.

Newt gently stirred, shifting so that he was now on his stomach with both of his arms around Tommy's waist. Tommy wrapped both of his arms around Newt's neck, and laid his head back against the cushion.

Tommy replayed everything Newt had told him earlier. About him being suicidal and trying to end his life. How he tried his best to promise not to hurt himself again. How- Tommy's mind went blank. Again. Again.

Tommy slowly reached for Newts arm, and took a gentle grasp of it. He pulled down Newt's long sleeve, knowing what he would find. Now that he though about it, Newt always wore long sleeves. Why hadn't he suspected anything?

When Newt's sleeve was successfully down, Tommy's horrid thoughts were confirmed. There was scar among scar over and over. Their lengths and the deepness varying, and Tommy assumed that had to do with the fact of how he was feeling that day. He absentmindidly traced his fingertips over each scar.

He noticed that a few of them still hadn't completely healed. They looked relatively... new. Newt had been lying to Tommy when he said that he has stopped. The whole fuss about him trying not to harm himself again for Tommy had been a lie. He was still doing it. He never stopped.

Out of nowhere, Thomas suddenly gripped Newt's arm tightly. The blond woke with a yelp, feeling a sharp pain in his arm. He looked at it to see Tommy staring at it, holding it so tight it was at the point of losing circulation.

"To - Tommy?" Newt asked confused. What was he looking at? It took the boy a few moments to realize his sleeve was down, and then it hit him. He's looking at my cuts. My old and new ones. He tried pulling his wrist out of Tommy's grasp, but it was no use. Tommy's hold on it was like a steel vise.

Tommy turned his head in Newt's direction. "I - I though you had... stopped?" he asked, voice shaking with anger and sadness.

Newt looked worridly at Tommy. He didn't want him to know what he had been doing, but he hated lying to him. "N - no I di - didn't..." Newt said guilty. The look on Tommy's face and was unreadable. All Newt knew was that he looked angry.