The Soul Catcher (Harry Styles)

36 - Shadowpath

"Death is so terribly final, while life is full of possibilities."

― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

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Letting go was never easy. At least, that was one banal thing I've heard a lot when I was still alive with an erratic beating in my chest.

But honestly, I called sanctimonious bullshit right here and right now. Thinking back to Katlyn's tear-stained face, I could tell that letting go was easy.

The unbearably hard part definitely wasn't letting go. No, it was the consuming time after it had already happened, after you had already let go.

Moving on was never easy.

All those romanced books and movies, hell, even the majority of invoking breakup songs out there, made it sound like moving on was a part that rested in the core of every single one of us. That we all could move on eventually.

"I moved on." Moving on, therefore, was the strong opposite of letting go. First, it was intolerably hard. But when you had finally moved on, things were elusively easier.

My point was made. Moving on was hard, then easy. Letting go was easy, then hard.

Right now, Katlyn got the nice mixture of both bad sides: she was trying to move on, which was hard, and then she was also in the state after letting go, which was hard as well.

But then again, you couldn't really move on without letting go.

Or maybe, just maybe, moving on and letting go was the same.

I narrowed my eyes at the sky and shook my head. No, I had just clarified that moving on and letting go were opposite factors. They weren't the same.

I was confusing myself.

Okay, to summarise it once again: Katlyn had let go without any trouble at all, it was easy for her. Now that she had let go, things were hard. Adjusting to the afterlife. Realising she couldn't go back. The next step was moving on, which was hard, too.

There, that sounded better.

At least it made sense in my head.

"Stop shooting glares at the sky," Elaine chuckled next to me, playing with the soft grass underneath us.

I sighed. "I just want to go back to Shimmerland and be done with this assignment," I admitted regretfully.

Her hair tickled my neck as she put her head on my shoulder. A blissful sigh escaped her lips and I envied the way she was at ease right now.

My insides were going insane, my stomach was on a rollercoaster and my head felt absolutely dizzy. I couldn't comprehend a clear through and it made me mad. Somehow, it seemed like I took a wrong turn and fell down a rabbit hole.

The only difference: I didn't end up in Wonderland. No, I was on the highway to hell.

With a brunette angel by my side. Elaine was a gift sent from heaven and I thanked whoever thought I deserved her. How she was mine was still beyond me.

Our relationship was nuts. Starting with fights, it had escalated so quickly into a romance. I couldn't even tell where the lines blurred, but suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, we were in this comfortable bubble and nothing could harm us. It was definitely rushed, but that didn't bother me at all.

Because, for the first time in my twenty years of life (and my few weeks of death), I was happy. Wherever Elaine was, was the place I belonged.

There was one thing that bothered me, a lot. We were happily living our afterlife, getting to know each other more and more. That was the natural cycle, this was the way things were supposed to be.