➳ serendipity. ||BSD one shots !

❆ But At What Cost? | Dazai x Reader.

- Angst cause I feel like total shit today, why not write a one-shot to cope? Sorry for leaving you all for a while I just had nothing in mind for story ideas but here you go! Some good ol' angst.

Also Trigger warning as this includes mentioning Self-harm.

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" But at what cost..?"

Silence grew between you both as you spoke these words, tears flowing down to your cheek, your eyes puffy from all the weeping, you stared at him while he stared at the ground holding his poorly bandaged arm, bleeding.

" I told you to stop this dazai, your hurting yourself and me! Please just tell me what's wrong..."

You tried to hug him but he backed away finally noticing the scars on his wrists, staring at them as they bled through, shock running throughout your body as you backed away holding back the tears that wanted to come out but, you couldn't show him that.

" y/n, I'm sorry for doing this it's just that- I couldn't help it! You nearly got killed and it was all my fault..."

He stood there looking at you painfully as a single tear dropped drown from his eye, begging for mercy.

This incident happened a year ago once you both were on a mission to get some information on a rising drug cartel but suddenly a bullet passed by why you both were talking, you were thrown off from the bullet grazing your ear while dazai throws you into a hug in an attempt to dodge but he didn't take your little injury well.

" That was a year ago sweetheart, I'm still alive, aren't I?"

You reassured him that everything is alright but he snapped back.

" Even if that was a year ago it still haunts me till this day and I can't help that, my mind keeps telling me that I should've kept my guard up for the both of us but I can't just ignore you..."

" Dazai.."

He was finally crying, he never showed this side of him before, he always had a smile on his face and kept his emotions at bay but this time he finally broke.

" I CANT KEEP LOSING THE PEOPLE I LOVE."
" Not again.."

He cried out wanting to make this moment end, he didn't want to be pitied, he didn't want to look weak but he couldn't help it anymore, he's tired from all the acting, he's tired from keeping all his thoughts and emotions to himself as it overwhelmed him so much that he finally had to let it all out.

You were speechless, once again the silence grew louder and louder between you two, the only thing that kept it stable was the rain pouring from the outside. As the night falls you finally got a hold of Dazai and offered to treat his wounds while he nodded in agreement, changing into more comfortable clothing you both laid down and cuddled.

" Goodnight y/n, please forgive me. "

You fell asleep in his arms while he softly spoke those words hoping you'll forgive and forget what previously happened.