Baseline [n.h]

04

I had received a mere two hours worth of sleep.

The lack of rest causes an overwhelming feeling of exhaustion to surge through each of my aching limbs.A sensation I had become all too familiar with.Circulating around the dim bedroom is a chilling breeze,prickling at my exposed and clammy skin.As I sink further into the plush mattress, desperate to lay still for a few moments more,my mind gradually starts to wander.

I understood that the main reason behind my disturbed sleep was the horrifying nightmare that had intruded into my brain.The incident had occurred sometime around two thirty this morning;featuring such disturbing images that I was catapulted back into consciousness.My head was rapidly spinning and my lips parted in desperation,craving some oxygen to fill my lungs.
However, today my twisted dream did not bare the sole responsibility for ruining my sleep.In fact it was due to a much more positive emotion;irrepressible excitement.

I was going on tour.

It was an opportunity I had longed for since the first time I clutched a pair of drum sticks;finding comfort in the way my fingers wrapped around the polished wood with such ease.I knew instantly that this was to be my passion,the passion that gave me a sense of fulfilment.My left foot knelt onto the hi-hat pedal like it was second nature,applying just the right amount of pressure to create a strong sound.Sitting upon the leather throne with an arched back was where I felt most in control.Almost as if I could tame my turbulent emotions simply by playing the right rhythm.
The music started to consume me,pulling me in like a life raft.Before I had time to stop the process,my whole being was engulfed in a symphony of beautiful beats.Drumming quickly became one of the most important aspects of my life,and I never dreamt of being able to take it full time.So now,with my goal being so agonisingly close,I struggled to keep the anticipation from gushing out.

As the hours blurred into one another,and the inky night sky beamed overheard,my eagerness become impossible to contain.The pads of my fingertips twitched at the blanket draped over my hip,shining rays of moonlight bouncing off of my chipped red nail polish.In one swift motion,I fling the comforter off my body and swing my legs over the side of my wrought iron bed.

"I made you a quick breakfast sweet"My mother's head appears from behind the wooden door, her tone soft and hushed.

She looks especially tired at this time,a set of deep bags imprinted into the pink skin below her eyes.Her strawberry blonde curls are loose and tangled,spilling down her bare back.

"Thanks mom,you didn't have to do that"I smile appreciatively,rubbing at my heavy eyelids in an effort to become more alert.

She shrugs her shoulders,assuring me that it was no bother.I had tried to explain to both her and my dad that I didn't expect them to wake up at a ridiculous hour in order to say goodbye to me.But of course,neither of them listened.
The driver had arranged to pick me at five AM, and I had been warned plenty of times by the tour manager of what the consequences would be if I was even a second late.

They would leave without me,finding a new drummer to play with the band.

It seemed like a harsh reaction,however it was one I completely understood.This upcoming tour was particularly important for Viper,and they couldn't afford to have any mishaps.
I knew what I was getting myself into.

"I'll see you downstairs in ten,"My mom folds her arms over her green silk pyjama top "and Fawn?"

"Yeah?"

She bows her head slightly,chewing on the inside of her cheek as if to be biting back tears, "I'm so proud of you."

Before I'm given the chance to reply,she vanishes down the hallway to continue getting ready for the day.Her sentimental words pulled at my core and all I wanted to do was ambush her with a tight hug.The idea of leaving my parents hadn't seemed too upsetting when I first accepted Niall's offer.But once I began weighing everything up and considering the chances of them unravelling again,I couldn't ignore the pang of guilt festering inside me.No matter how many times the pair of them tried to convince me that everything would be okay,I still felt as though I was making the selfish choice.