Diffrent Now

Chapter Ten - Control

"There's nothing to tell." I mumble, refusing to make eye contact with him. I know his eyes would be stormy and the second I saw the concern that was bound to be flowing though them within the storm I would break down. I couldn't do that. 

"What happened? Is it Ethan? Oh it's Ethan isn't it? I'm gonna kill him." Ace growls, roughly hitting my steering weal. 

"No." I lie. "I'm just worried about everything happening with the studio. I wanted to go today and check things out." It's only a part lie and I can tell that Ace doesn't believe me, it's clear from the amount of anger that still radiated from him. 

"Lola." Ace says, his voice oh so soft. "Look at me."

"I can't." I whisper, tears threatening to fall freely now. 

"Please." Ace replies, his voice still soft and calm. His soft touch on my hand is all it takes for my head to move and our eyes to meet. Once they do his concerned eyes meet my tearful ones. "What happened?" Ace asks, gently cupping my face with his large hand. The soft touch causes tears to pool from my eyes, they flew from my eyes uncontrolled but Ace caught as many as he could. 

"Nothing." I whisper, my voice unable to get any louder then the soft sound but Ace somehow still hears. Ace undoes my seat belt and lifts me into his lap. I grasp his shirt and cry freely. Letting out the emotions I had held in. Crying for my lost time with my brother and my friends. Crying for my lost self. Crying for all the times I had been beaten and broken. Crying for the person I thought Ethan was. Crying for myself as I knew what happened with Andrew was about to happen again with Ethan. 

"You don't have to tell me." Ace whispers. "But I'm here." I nod into his chest and tears keep falling. Eventually after what must've been hours I finally stop. I climb out of Ace's lap and he starts the car. We drive in silence until I finally muster up the confidence to speak. 

"Where are we going?" I ask quietly. 

"Your studio." Ace answers, a soft smile filling his face in a way that makes me relax. I knew I was safe with Ace. He was like a security blanket that I hadn't had as a child. 

"Thank you." I whisper. I wasn't just thanking him for taking me to the studio, I was thanking him for not asking questions, I was thanking him for letting me cry, I was thanking him for making me feel safe. 

"Anything for you Lola." He smiles, and I truly felt like he meant it. That he really would do anything for me. 

When we get the studio it's still a mess. Nothing had been touched since when it happened over a week ago. I sigh and go to my office to call the cleaners. When they arrive they are shocked at the sight but start doing their job. Ace and I stay and talk about what the past three years had entailed for us. Ace tells me about his family, stupid things my brother had done in the past, how awfully lovey dovey Daniel and April were, he told me about August's recovery. I just listened, I didn't have anything interesting to tell but I could laugh along to the stories and add bits and pieces. It felt natural. I felt safe. It was a safe place to say whatever I wanted to. I could be myself with no fear of judgment. It was a new feeling but a feeling I wanted to get used to. 

Eventually though the time came to go home. By the time the cleaners had finished it was 8 pm. Ace and I had gotten a McDonalds and ate it in the car before we finally did. The amount of dread that filled me when the car edged closer to the house wasn't normal. I couldn't tell if Ace could tell but from the way he always kept one eye on me told me he did but he never asked question. I was so glad he never questioned my actions, but apart of me wondered what went on in his head. I knew I would never know but that wouldn't stop me from wondering. 

Ace parked the car in the driveway and we got out. I plastered a fake smile on my face and we walked in. Instantly we were greeted by an angry looking Ethan. The look of pure anger on his face terrified me. 

"Where were you?" He growled, seemingly unaware of Ace's presents. 

"I..." I'm cut off by Ace who steps in front of me. 

"We went to the studio to clean stuff up." Ace answers. Now Ethan's anger is redirected at Ace, for a second anyway. Then he's facing me once again, anger swirling around him it's almost suffocating him. 

"With him?" Ethan spits. "I thought you knew better then that Lilz." 

"I'm sorry Ethan." I whimper. 

"Don't talk to her like that." Ace growls, pushing me behind him like a human shield. 

"I'll talk to her however I want." Ethan answers, just an angrily as Ace had spoken. 

"No. You won't." Ace answers, taking a threatening step towards Ethan. 

"Ace." I whisper, his head snaps towards me, his angry eyes softening. "It's fine." 

"No Lolz, it's not." Ace replied, his voice soft and calm. 

"Her name is Lily." Ethan pipes in. Once again Ace's eyes fill with anger. 

"Her name is Lola. She is always going to be Lola. The brave girl that talks back to me. The girl who takes shit from no one. The girl who can take down a guy twice her size without breaking a sweat. You are just trying to take that away from her. You are forcing her to become something she isn't." Ace defends. His words hit close to home, was he right? Was Ethan forcing me to become something I wasn't. It hadn't seemed like that but the more I thought about it the more I realized that it was true. Ethan has made sure I was focused on work. Ethan had stopped me from training. Ethan had convinced me to keep the fact that I was still alive from my friends. A gasp falls from my lips as the dots in my head began to connect. Ethan had been controlling me. He had all the control. He's always had the control. Why does someone else always seem to have control over my life?  

It's time this came to a stop. I wanted control over my life again. But how? A plan slowly forms in my head as the two men continue arguing. It would be hard but as long as I had Ace I knew I would get though this. The only problem was am I strong enough to go though with this?