Time || YeonGyu AU✔

chapter 19

          "I didn't do it for you", Beomgyu quickly cut him off, drawing the older's distressed eyes to himself as he averted his gaze and mumbled under his breath, "I only did it for the human inside you"

          Yeonjun traveled his gaze downwards a bit as more emotions rose up into his throat and he nodded his head softly, realizing how much of a kind soul the younger boy was indeed, but he didn't like the idea that he was breaking his boundaries, "Those words I said to you in the hideout-", he spoke hesitantly in an apologetic voice after heaving a deep sigh and running his palms over his face in a stressed manner, staring at the boy again afterwards who got tensed up at once, his breath hitched in his throat and he couldn't bring himself to gaze at the older boy as torturing uneasiness kept disturbing his peace, "I was just out of control, I didn't mean them, i-i mean, you are very kind and-", but he ran out of words suddenly as his brain cells ceased functioning and he scratched his forehead nervously, as he kept trying to gather sentences he wanted to say, "I- damn it, I'm really sorry for those words, I know you didn't deserve them and I'm such an asshole for not noticing your friendly attitude towards me and hurting you instead of appreciating everything you were doing for me"

          Yeonjun let out a heavy sigh after finishing off his sentence, feeling like a huge weight was removed from his shoulders and finally he could breathe normally again, but he didn't know how to tell the boy that he wanted to have nothing to do with him anymore because the weird situation between them was scaring him really much. He ran his fingers through his hair as he stood up from the chair and walked up to the window while Beomgyu followed him with his eyes which were filled with different emotions, looking at the older boy with expectant eyes but even Beomgyu himself had no idea what he wanted to hear from him.

          "I've been through much pain already", Yeonjun spoke as he stood with his back facing the younger boy and his eyes looking out of the window in painful distress, "And I don't want to experience more. I don't know what we have in common and why life decided to cross our paths, but I know that I want to stop it until it's late. I no longer care about that man whoever hired you nor about our strange relationship, all I want to do is to destroy Namjoon and then...", he fell into thinking for a moment, not even knowing how those eyes behind him were decorated with a hint of pain and disappointment. Beomgyu had no idea when that desire had started to wake up in his heart, but now he knew that he really wanted to befriend the boy even if he was a total jerk. He had never had a friend, and meeting Yeonjun and feeling a weird connection with him made him want to have one. In his opinion, life would be much easier if he would have someone to open up to and show his vulnerable side to, someone who would comfort him and give him the energy of life over again, but Yeonjun seemed to have the opposite desires.

          The younger could feel sadness brewing beneath his chest because he was lonely, a sudden terror of death a day ago made him realize how much important it was to have someone in the world who would love him for who he was because, after his death, there would be no one who would cry over him and whose heart would keep him alive forever. He was afraid of living a lonely life and dying alone. He had never wanted a life like that.

          "Then I don't care what happens", Yeonjun mumbled quietly but Beomgyu was still able to hear his words, "I don't want anyone else to get close to me, including you. I will stay with you until you are completely recovered and then both of us will go our separate ways. You can go wherever you want and live your desired life, you've got already enough money for it. You'll soon forget about everything that has happened in recent days"

          Beomgyu bowed his head and directed his gaze to his own hands in his lap as he tried to fight off the sadness inside him because even though none of them was fond of each other, the idea of never seeing him again was still disturbing to him. He could feel the sea of pain floating in the older's body and Beomgyu didn't want him to stay like that, they weren't friends but still, the younger wanted to see his happy face even for once until they would separate forever. It didn't seem like finding that man, who hired him almost a week ago, was possible anyways, there was no point in trying further, but Beomgyu had forgotten about something, and as soon as it hit his head, his heart raced at once, causing his head to shot up and his nervous eyes looked at the yellow-haired boy who was still busy watching the outside environment aimlessly while swimming in his own thoughts.

          "Who is Choi Seojun?", Beomgyu suddenly asked and Yeonjun stopped breathing for a moment, his eyes fixing on one spot as his muscles suddenly got too heavy in his body.

          The older boy gulped down nervously as he tried to cope with his arising bundle of emotions and slowly turned back to the younger one, looking into his eyes with a firm gaze which made Beomgyu feel that he shouldn't have asked something like that, "It's not your concern", he replied blankly as he unfolded his crossed hands and let them fall loosely on his sides, "I think it's time for me to leave. I'll be back for the evening", and his feet dragged him towards the door, Beomgyu even told him to stop, but Yeonjun didn't want to deal with his questions at that moment, or he might say something inappropriate to the boy again and he didn't want that. His mind was so deeply sunk in stress that he couldn't even notice anything strange in Beomgyu's question, for example, the fact that Beomgyu somehow still knew Seojun's surname even though Junseo had never mentioned it.