Backstage (h.s)

7. He loves me

I run down the stairs and I start my car, I look at my phone and I see the time, four-thirty-five, I buckle quickly and I drive off to the devils house

I pull up about twenty minutes later and I'm five minutes early, I see Harrys white Merceds which I'm a sucker for, I love vintage cars I purchased one about 6 months ago, she's a 1957 Cadillac series 62 coupe and she's a sage green color, I was totally in love with her when I saw her in the used car lot

I named her Lennox, it fit her when I thought of what to name her, I walk up to the fancy stairs of the house and I ring the doorbell, their butler answers

"good evening, Miss. Opel, Patrick, Matthew, Mrs. Jenson and Harry are here in the living room" I hear James say and I nod, "thank you James" I smile and I walk into the living room, all eyes shoot to me as I step into the room and I hear Matthew sigh

"your late" he grumbles and I tilt my head, "it's four-fifty-seven" I say and he looks over to Patrick who is now glaring at me, I shake it off and I nod, "sorry it won't happen again" I mumble and he nods walking past me

I look over to Harry and I can't read his expression, I feel a grip on my arm and I look down to it seeing the cold grasp of Patricks hand it tightens on me and I look up to him, "do you always have to make me look bad" he says through his teeth and I shake my head, "I'm sorry I was late I cut my foot on a plant you dropped on the bedroom floor" I say and his grip tightens, "do not talk back to me" he steps forward and I flinch

he pulls me out of the room and I turn my head to see Harry behind us now, talking to the other boys in the room Liam, Zayn and Niall, they all are talking in a circle and Harrys eyes meet mine and he's look is a look of fury, anger, like he wants to kill someone

I feel myself getting pulled into the dinning room of the house and I sit down next to Patrick and I see Harry sit directly across from me, I see Niall sit on the other side of me and Liam and Zayn sit on both sides of Harry while Mrs. Jenson sit on one end of the table and Matthew sits on the head of the table

I bite my thumb nail as Patrick moves his hand to my thigh squeezing tight, it doesn't feel its for comfort it's more for territorial reasons

I see James pour waters for us and Harry thanks him, "Harry are you and the boys ready for tour?" I see Matthew speak professionally and Harry nods for them, "I think we are it should be a good time to please the fans and do what we do best" Harry says simply and Matthew nods, "yea sure" he snorts and I turn my head, "what does that mean?" I ask Matthew and everyones heads snap towards me, I probably shouldn't of said anything damn it, I prepare myself for Patrick to do something

"well it's not really about the fans, it's about the money" he says like it's obvious and I stay quiet, I see a look exchange between Matthew and Patrick and I feel Patricks nails dig into me just like the last dinner but his grip tightens he doesn't break through my jeans but I flinch forward when he doesn't stop, I hit the table with my hand and Harry looks up to me, I feel a tear escape my eye while Liam talks to Matthew about a topic I'm not listening to, Harry's eyes stay on mine as I look down to my pants, I see Patricks nails stuck into my thigh and I see blood seep through my jeans staining them

I look back to Harry and his head moves to the bathroom in the hallway behind us, I scoot my chair out and I feel Patricks nails pull out of me making me squeeze my eyes shut in pain, "I have to excuse myself to the bathroom" I say as polite as I can at the moment and I speed walk to the bathroom trying to hide the blood thats falling down my leg right now

I open the bathroom door locking myself in there just incase Patrick decides to pay me a visit, I sit up on the counter and I pull my pants down, seeing the bruises he left behind from the last time he did this and I see fresh new cuts on my thigh now, I see they are deeper than the last ones and I feel tears pour out of my eyes, If I wouldn't of said anything this wouldn't of happened, it's my fault he got mad, god your so stupid Essie, I hear my mothers voice flash through my head at the last part and I jump off from the counter

I turn and grab some toilet paper wiping up as much blood as I can, I hear a quiet knock on the door and I flinch, I don't answer but a few seconds later I hear a voice

"Esme it's Harry open up" I hear his deep voice and wave of relief washes over me

I creak the door open so he can only see my face, he doesn't need to see the bruises or cuts, I leave the toilet paper covering my thighs as much as I can, I look up to his face and it changes when he sees me, from anger to concern, I wipe my tears away and I look back up at him

"I was just using the bathroom, something wrong?" I ask him lying about using the bathroom, he pushes through the door and I fly backward hitting the wall, ouch damn

he looks down to my thighs but when I try to cover them up I don't feel the toilet paper on my thighs anymore, I look down to the ground and I see the bloody cloth on the floor next to the door, he steps forward and I close the door so he doesn't interrupt the dinner

"what the hell is that Esme?" he asks with concern and I turn to face the toilet away from him, "it's nothing I just do it when I'm anxious" I lie and he spins me around to him, "stop lying Esme, I know those are from Patrick" he says and I shut up

"he doesn't mean to" I mumble finding myself trying to cover for him but I see Harry look down at my thighs, he spins me to the mirror in front of us and he points at the scars, "he doesn't mean to hurt you, he's an abuser Esme" he raises his voice and I shake my head

"he isn't an abuser, he loves me Harry" I snap back and he scoffs, "yea it sure looks like it" he says and I look back at myself in the mirror, I look horrible I look down at the bloody scars and bruises of my legs and I hate what I see, I feel a tear drop to the floor and I touch them, they are new so they hurt more than usual, I suck in a breath from the pain and I see Harrys eyes look at mine through the mirror, "he loves me Harry" I mumble and he nods, "you'll find out soon enough what actual love looks like, this isn't love, this is control" he says and I look down at my legs again, "don't tell anyone" I speak up and he nods

"I won't" he mumbles and I putting my pants back on, I tie them up and I can't change anything about the blood stains, I'll try and I hide them the rest of the night, I run the tap and I splash my face making my tears go away and my puffy eyes, I run my hand through my hair and I open the door looking back at Harry for a second, I see his eyes and he looks confused or distraught almost, he shouldn't of had to find out about Patrick

I close the door walking back into the dinning room and I sit down next to Patrick, he kisses my cheek and I find it disgusting but I go along with it

but all I feel is nervousness for having to go back home with him tonight

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