Infatuated (hsau)

chapter 59.

Green is my favourite colour.

"D'you know what I'm gonna say to you?" He asks, a slight smirk forming at the corner of his lips.

I shook my head, looking down at my hands folded in my lap that just feel so cold and painful for no apparent reason.

"Never apologise to me birdy." He smiles.

I'm unable to stop my own smile from forming at the fact he's still quoting himself from some of the first conversations we shared. When he engulfed my hands with his own, squeezing them gently I felt my heart flutter a little.

I'm unable to stop my own smile from forming at the fact he's still quoting himself from some of the first conversations we shared. When he engulfed my hands with his own, squeezing them gently I felt my heart flutter a little.

"I think you need to go home." He suggests and the second I shake my head he squeezes my hands again. "I don't think you're feeling too great and that's fine, but I also think you put too much pressure on yourself."

I look up at him confused, feeling a lump begin to grow in my throat and my heart begin to grow heavy.

"Your mum told me that. Said you're a hard worker and a people pleaser too." He smiles, caressing the backs of my hands with his thumbs.

I'm never going to get used to the idea that she's gone am I? Nor the fact Harry has interacted with her but I guess that if you look at the positives, at least he doesn't deal drugs and he understands how much she meant to me.

Still, I'm struggling to find the words of what I'm supposed to say so instead I just smile back at him, nodding my head slightly.

"She also said you have a habit of pushing people away." He states, taking me by shock. "Don't push me away, please."

It was more of a plea than just him asking me not to push him away, and it had my heart beating so rapidly I thought I might have a heart attack.

I nod my head back at him and whisper, "I'll try."

Harry smiles up at me before squeezing my hands and kissing the backs of both of them. Sometimes the littlest gestures are the ones that do the most.

He stands up, holding out his hand for me to pull myself up on and when I do, I throw my arms around him, just desperate to close the boundary between us that I created this morning. When his arms snuck around my waist, holding me tight and his head rests in between my shoulder and my neck, I felt this overwhelming rush of emotions and the coldness I've been feeling all day was replaced by warmth.

"Going home?" He asks me quietly, to which I nod, pulling back from our hug that I so desperately needed.

"Will you come?"

Harry was quick to answer my question with a nod, "course I will, anything you want."

With my cheek finding comfort pressed against his chest, his hand and rubbing up at down my back whilst his other gripped me so close to him, I felt so at peace. It's like we're the only two people in the world and I wish we were, I wish we never had the complications of life but you always have to jump the hurdles to get to the finish line.

Harry has filled the void in my heart I never thought could be filled and I'm growing terrified of how much I'm falling for him.

It's a difficult situation because I've never been in a relationship where I'm not being manipulated before and Harry's never been in a relationship full stop. We're both learning and we're learning together I think, I hope.

Today's been a difficult one. A horrible, dark, miserable day but I'm on the other side of it now and I'm so glad.

I hate feeling how I did earlier, like the worlds crashing down on me.