christian dior | lil peep

16. stories written in the walls

gus had been discharged from the hospital again, i stayed with him the entire time. they kept him longer this time, he wasn't on bed rest but he was supposed to take it very, very easy. i wasn't about to almost lose him again, my angel.

addison
how is gus?

kennedy
going home today, i'll stay with him for a bit to be safe

addison
why are u even paying rent u only live here like 2 days every two weeks

kennedy
promise i'll be home soon!!! miss and love u

addison
ur being oddly nice, what's going on

kennedy
well
gus and i are back together

addison
are u dumb or stupid

kennedy
both
but i love him

"why'd you take me back ken?" gus asked me, abruptly. "i already told you, i got too close to losing you and realized no matter what happened i loved you and i couldn't be without you" i reiterated. "no i know that, but there was something else. i can tell, something happened" he said. "there was a girl in the waiting room, i talked to her while you were in the OR. she helped me clarify my thoughts and my feelings and validated what i felt and told me that we seemed like a rare case but i loved you and i shouldn't hesitate from it" i explained to him what had happened with rachel. "well thank god for her then" gus said.

"i was scared to die" gus told me, "why?" i asked. well i guess most people don't really feel like dying from internally drowning in their own blood. "i wasn't ready to leave you yet" he said, "but we weren't even together then?" i said. "i had this feeling, that if i pulled through we would be" he told me. so that's why he was asking about rachel. "well i guess you were right" i told him.

"it hurts a lot less to be back in your apartment now that we're properly back together" i told him, "it hurt before?" gus asked. "yeah gus, there's a lot of stories written in these walls. it was hard to be reminded of being with you when i wasn't" i told him. "well, we're gonna write so many more" he told me. "good" i told him. "nothing gonna come between you and i" he said.

"you're my once in a lifetime gus" i told him. "ima be with you forever" he said, kissing my forehead. "do you think tracy will stop hating your guts if we're back together?" i asked, "maybe, he was pretty fucking pissed at me" gus laughed. "i'll deal with that situation later" he said, "too excited to be spending time back with my girl again" gus said, tackling me onto the bed. "woah woah woah mister that is not taking it easy" i scolded him, "seems pretty easy to me, you just have the strength of a wet cardboard box" gus said. "you'll absolutely be catching these hands when your lung hole heals" i threatened.

i'd never felt happier, gus was getting better and had perked up tremendously. we were back together again, it felt so right, i don't think i could love someone more than this and after what we've been through i think that says a lot. no one ever tells you that you might find your world at the back of a night club.

gus put his phone down from whoever he had been texting, "i shot tracy a text, he wants to come over here tomorrow and talk" gus said. "that's...good?" i asked, i couldn't tell if gus was happy or not. "i think so, i miss my best friend" he told me. "fair enough, i miss addison too. i should probably spend a night at home soon" i told him, in reference to my conversation with her earlier. "okay but only if i can come with you, i'll miss you too much if you leave me alone all night it's like i'm missing half of me" gus pouted. "maybe babe, i don't think you'd have too much fun at a kennedy and addison drunken best friend night" i told him. "sounds exhilarating" gus said.

"what do you think is gonna happen when tracy?" i asked gus, "i can't really tell, i honestly think he kind of had a thing for you so maybe he'll just be jealous" gus informed me "he what?, no way. that's weird" i said, there's no way tracy had a thing for me i was literally dating his best friend. that's just wrong on every level. "i wouldn't put it past him, he's a bit of a dirty dawg if you will" gus said. "gus what the fuck, you're not mad you think your best friend likes me? and you willingly let us hang out?" i questioned. "well i know he wouldn't actually try anything, i wouldn't hesitate to knock a few of his teeth out if he did" gus said. i still found it very strange, but whatever.

"okay, i won't argue. let's go to bed" i told gus. "okay!" he said happily pulling me into bed beside him. what a feeling to be back here beside him somehow, i missed this. "our first night sleeping in our big bed as a couple again" gus smiled. "babe you sound like you're keeping track of a toddlers sleeping milestones right now" i told him. "oh well, i'm just happy" he said. "so am i" i said, cuddling into his side. "careful my breathing parts are broken" he said, "i know love" i said, making sure to be uber careful and gentle.

if i had to describe heaven on earth, it would be this moment right here. gus had my whole heart, he always had. to be loved and to be in love with this boy was a feeling i couldn't describe but i hoped everybody would get to experience with someone at least once in their lives.

a/n

i'll try and get another chapter out tonight but no promises

what are y'all thinking of their relationship rn / so far?

chapter question: do u remember ur dreams? i only do sometimes and if i do they are weird as shit