Fall Apart (Dream Team)

Chapter 36: Moving Forwards

More than anything, he just wanted George to be okay. He didn't want the stress that came with chronic illness, he didn't want the constant hospital visits— he just wanted to spend time with George, he wanted to stay locked inside his house together, having only each other and patches to keep company. He wanted to have a normal meet up, a normal living situation. He wanted George, not the strange, sick version of George that haunted every waking thought.

He felt a square object fall gently into his lap.

Removing his hand from his eyes and squinting through the blurry, watery mess the world had become, he vaguely recognized the object as a tissue box. He gingerly took one to be polite, pressing it along his eyes as he tried to force air in his lungs. It didn't help much, as he felt his breathing get more constricted, liquid dripping down his cheeks and drying on his hands as he attempted to wash it away.

"Its going to be okay, you're going to get through this," Dr. Lewis tried to comfort.

Dream wanted the cat. If he couldn't have one of his friends, he wanted at least something to hold onto, something to ground him.

He wanted George. He just wanted George to be okay.

~

Dream didn't know how long it took him to compose himself.

He reached over and placed the tissue box back on the table, before standing up to place the used tissues in a small trash can by the door. Walking back, he noticed the doctor was thankfully looking at his notes, rather than him. Logically, he knew the doctor must see it all the time, but he couldn't help but feel slightly embarrassed. He was emotional, he couldn't help it even if he did have a nagging feeling in the back of his head that he was wasting time.

"Sorry," he mumbled, rubbing his eyes as he sat down.

"Totally okay."

"I..." he started, knowing he had to talk. "I don't know, it's hard."

"It is, it's really hard dealing with someone close to you being sick."

The words were encouraging, validating.

He asked the only thing he could think of, the only way to move past everything. "What do I do?"

"Well, the best thing you can do for George is be there for him, and you're already doing that. I can tell you two really love each other, and that's the best thing you can give George going forwards."

Dream smiled.

"That being said, it's okay if you ever need a break from him. When you two decided to get together, you signed up to be equal partners in a relationship. You didn't sign up to be a nurse, and you have no obligation to do so. So if he's sick, and you're tired, or you need to get out of the house— do it. He's an adult, he knows what he needs. Leave him alone sometimes, and take care of yourself. If you try to dawn over him constantly, you're only going to burn yourself out and build resentment between the two of you, alright? Just because you don't have all these symptoms doesn't mean your health and well being doesn't matter."

Dream didn't have the heart to tell the doctor that he and George weren't actually dating. The words sounded wrong, sad, when he thought of them— he much preferred the conclusion that there was something more than friendship between them. As he said on streams: dnf. It was funny, and it was better than saying they were friends. Besides, he was fairly certain he'd be kicked out if he told the hospital they weren't actually dating anyways.

"Thank you," he replied quietly, forcing the words from his mouth. "I love him more than anything," he added without thinking.

Doctor Lewis smiled. "You're lucky to have each other."