Lady Sarah's Secret

XXXII. An Unhappy Walk With Henry

"Sarah?"

Sarah snapped out of her gloomy thoughts and returned her attention to her sister in law. Amelia was staring at her, and Sarah blushed, realizing her own rudeness.

"You have not heard anything I've said, have you?" Amelia accused, her eyes narrowing.

"No, I am sorry," Sarah said, she shook her head as if to clear her thoughts and reached for a cup of tea.

"Charles is still behaving like a fool, I take it?" Amelia replied dryly, but Sarah was not so sure.

"I apologize, Amelia, truly," Sarah insisted, ignoring her line of questioning, "Tell me again about your plans for London," Sarah encouraged.

"With the departure of the hoard of guests and the snow melting, mother wants to take you to town for the dressmakers," Amelia repeated, "I admit that after a month stuck in this house, I could use some entertainment. Do you feel well enough for the journey?"

"I am fine, Amelia," Sarah insisted, she seemed to be answering questions after her health from everyone during the last week, everyone but her husband. Even Lady Eleanor had offered to take on some of the household tasks in order to lighten her burden. Sarah had of course declined the offer, for if she was not to have a loving marriage, she would cling to the superb running of a household.

The servants were particularly bent to her will to begin with, most of them had liked her as a housemaid, and Sarah had worked to ease their load by hiring three more maids and a footman from nearby town. Mrs. Green believed she could do no wrong, surely things would continue to run smoothly in her absence, it would only be a fortnight in London after all.

"You look peaked," Amelia observed, interrupting Sarah's musings once again, "In fact you have not stopped looking peaked since you were ill."

"I do not sleep well," Sarah admitted, for that was all she was willing to admit, "Perhaps a change will do well for me."

"London has never improved anyone's health," Amelia scoffed, "We should send you to Bath, more likely."

"Who is going to Bath?" Caroline chimed in, joining them after her morning time in the nursery.

"Sarah," Amelia declared, "She looks peaked, does she not?"

"You do look a bit tired, dear," Caroline agreed, Sarah placidly sipped her tea. She didn't mind their fussing, she was so starved for a family and genuine care that she imagined there were a great many things she could tolerate from them, including being coddled.

"But you said there was Theater in London," Sarah objected, then took another sip of tea, Sarah longed to go to London, to attend the theater, the balls. Christmas in London was always exciting.

"She would prefer London over Bath, I think," Amelia laughed at Caroline, "Her dear friend Mr. Young will be there, I believe," Amelia teased. Sarah gave her a withering glance.

"Perhaps I would prefer Bath," Sarah retorted.

"You would prefer many things besides Nicholas Young, I imagine," Amelia giggled and all three of the smiled.

"Indeed," Sarah agreed emphatically, sending off another round of laughter from her companions.

"Lady Sarah," a man's voice called from the door and all three heads swung to see Henry standing there, "Would you take walk with me?" he asked.

"A walk? In this weather?" Caroline scoffed, Amelia had fallen quiet at Sarah's side.

"A walk to the conservatory, perhaps Henry?" Sarah suggested, hurrying to join him in the doorway so to give Amelia relief of his company as soon as possible. Henry obliged and the two set out arm in arm to that part of the house.

"Will you tell me why you so mysteriously must speak to me alone?" Sarah asked as they reached their destination. She let go of Henry's arm and approached a rose bush instead, wishing she'd brought shears.

"It is in regards to Amelia," he began, clasping both hands behind his back as he paced away from her, Sarah merely listened.

"I need a favor of her dearest friend," Henry stated, his eyes connecting with hers, "I think it will be best for everyone if I were to... take my leave for bit." Still Sarah did not respond.

"I know that Amelia... worries over me," Henry coughed awkwardly, "And as her friend I was hoping you would encourage her to... when you are in London..."

"Worry over someone else?" Sarah finished for him finally, her voice showing her disapproval.

"Indeed."

"A gentleman's promise to a young woman is nothing then?" Sarah asked him quickly, her eyes holding him in place.

"Sarah, you do not understand," Henry began in exasperation, "A connection with the man who might've made such a promise would be entirely different from a connection with the man who has returned in his place."

"So because you are a broken soldier, you must break Amelia as well?" Sarah felt tears pricking at her eyes, the truth of her own heart revealed as well.

"It would be better had I died," Henry turned away from her in anguish, "Than to return only to gain her despite as I have now."

"If she despises you, it is your own doing, Henry," Sarah felt the passion in her voice climbing, "Would you but speak to her, perhaps you would find what you seem to think has passed. But you instead choose to use my friendship to steer her away? You are a coward, and liar." Sarah nearly spat her words at him, her hands turning into fists at her side.

"And what would you know of it?" Henry turned back to speak in a steely tone, "Surely by now you have seen the price paid by your husband? He is not the same man, and you will never have that man again."

"You are wrong," Sarah stated resolutely, though her voice was wavering and tears were now streaming down her cheeks, "Should you choose to cast off the woman who loves you, I believe you will become this character you've been pretending to be. And you will have none of my pity."

"You are hopeful for yourself, not Amelia, admit it," Henry accused darkly.

"I am hopeful for both of you," Sarah insisted evenly, though she was sobbing now.

"It would only-"

"What is going on?" Charles bellowed from the doorway to the conservatory. Seeing him and fearing what Henry said could be true... Sarah turned away from both men completely.

"Bloody women," she heard Henry growl and then his footsteps in the corridor. He was probably on his way to pack. Sarah cried harder. Poor Amelia.